Alone

A new experience on the journey, and that is being completely alone. I have never had to face being alone before. Always I lived or stayed with people, always there was someone around to talk to or be with. But suddenly, I am alone, and it is an adjustment.

I am learning that I am very much a people person. I love people! I like to be with them, talk to them, find out how they think, and what their heart is like. I like to just sit together, even if we don't speak with words. I like to give someone a pat on the shoulder, and I like an exchange of smiles and glances. I am energized and excited by people.

And I am learning there is a time and a place to be so outgoing, and a time and a place to learn to be introspective and not depend on people to give me the energy I look for or need from being with others.

I can't say it is to the point where I love being alone, but I am beginning to enjoy some things about it.

I think it is important to learn to balance my natural personality tendancies. For instance, being such a people person, it is a good balance to experience living and being alone. I can learn to care for myself and find what I need emotionally through other avenues. I can make allowances and accomodate others better if I can find another side of my personality.

On the other side of the coin, someone who is very much a loner should also learn to be in community and living with others. But I think it is possible for loners and people like me to find a way to invite others into their lives and form community while still taking care of the person inside. Making ways to be alone, and with others, and still sharing lives and experiences and being companionable. I hope it is a grace I can learn, to invite others to share in my life. I want them to discover in my life the reason I am living here: Christ who is in me.

I am alone, yet not completely alone. I live alone, yet Christ is with me, and I am not alone. Christ lives in me, and is always there.

I am not alone.