Scarlet

:Bounce Bounce:

Today has been a beautiful day. A few happy thoughts:

The colors of fall foliage. I think we're hitting a peak this week. I've enjoyed all the colors: purple, red, orange, yellow, and all sorts of shades in between with some green thrown in for contrast. My camera has been silent, but maybe tomorrow I can go on a hunt from some fall photographs.  Ever notice how beautiful colors are? Not just this time of year, but all the time? I always notice different shades and color combinations. This afternoon it has misted a bit and brought out all the colors even more richly. It's a beautiful, gorgeous world God is coloring for us. The artist in me loves it.

Flowers on my desk. More beautiful colors (red and yellow mums!). I love having flowers on my desk. I often pause to appreciate them.

A new Pandora radio station. I enjoy music going quietly through the day. Since I'm generally pretty alone, it helps to have some going. I have a new station that I'm enjoying. Claude Debussy may or may not be involved. And then I switched to salsa for a while. Complete with commercials in Spanish! :)

Pink grapefruit juice. Oh how I love grapefruit. Not quite the time of year...but a glass of goodness will tide me over. And it's pink! Who could resist!

Psalm 107:1-7. I typed it out for the bulletin today. It spoke to my heart and helped me realize how great God is.

Leftover pizza. Yummyness.

Purple scarves. I've got an extra long one on today and someone told me there was more scarf than girl. Made me laugh.

I'm thinking about not just blogging my happies, but journaling them everyday, too. Today I kept a list going whenever I noticed something. It was a good way to focus on things I am enjoying. God gives many gifts. I just have to notice them.

An Aha! Moment

During devotional time this morning two brain cells collided and thought occurred. Nearly killed me. ha!

I was thinking about loving God. And then I was thinking about Deuteronomy 6:5.

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength."

And then I figured it out! Using my strength for God is loving God. Using my strength to work, to live, to do things for people, being strong and using my energy well is loving God.

I decided to look at the words in my key word study Bible.
Love denotes a strong emotional attachment for and a desire to posses or be in the presence of the object of love.
Heart means the most interior. The most deepest, hidden place.
Soul means our human spirit. What makes us human. Our personality and spirit.
Might means vehemently, diligently, especially.


A strong emotional attachment. That makes me think of how it feels to be in love and want to be with that person all the time. And if you're not with them, you're thinking about them. We should feel this way about God.
And we should love God with the deepest and most interior part of us. We should love God with our whole selves. Our personalities and spirits should be an example of loving God.
We should love God vehemently and especially diligently.

Just thought I'd share a bit of what I was thinking about this morning. I like it when these aha! moments happen and it all clicks into place. :)

Happies

Happies

Caramel Macchiato. I recently discovered this drink thanks to a friend...mmm. Yup. I like em. :)
Sunshine! (Makes me happy!)
A blue sweater that is just too cute.
Caramel Corn (I'm detecting a trend toward caramel. Maybe.)
Time with my best friend- my beautiful Mother.
Finding forgotten cash in an odd place. Always a plus.
Hugs from a 12 year old brother.
Red leaves.
Some photo editing = satisfying creativity.
Giving a fun surprise.

Just a few of today's little happinesses.

On The Topic of Babies

*Warning. This blogpost is not for the faint of heart.

Today I held a baby. And it was bliss.
It's been so long since I've had the chance.

Usually it's all I can do when I see a baby to keep from touching or asking to hold it. A mother doesn't usually like a stranger to take over her baby so I try to bear that in mind. When I see a baby, my fingers just itch to hold it and kiss it.

Today there was a funeral at the church I work for. A mother with a 4 month old baby needed someone to keep an eye on him and I jumped at the chance. I think I scared her. But she left her baby with me while she went to the service.

Such cute fat cheeks.
Such sweet fat hands.
Such tiny fingernails.
And then he smiled at me.
I think I fell in love with the little mister.

I dream of the day it's my baby I'm holding. I want many babies. And many toddlers. And many children. And many pre-teens. And many teenagers. And many adult children. And many many grandkids. All in good time, eh?

It just breaks my heart to think of the babies that were killed by people who have no concept of the precious life they hold in their hands. Babies not allowed to live. Babies aborted. Babies abandoned. If anything makes me mad or makes me upset or makes me hurt, it's the idea of not allowing that life to live.

Perhaps that is one reason why I simply can't bear the thought of doing anything that would cause my baby to die or fail to thrive in the womb. This is one of the few issues that I feel very passionate about.

There are a lot of strange looks and reactions when people learn my stance on this issue.
They wonder how anyone can afford a lot of children.
They wonder how anyone can do that to their body.
They wonder how anyone can live with all the responsibility of many children.
They wonder how anyone can want to give up the freedom of being alone.

I wonder how anyone can be so selfish. Lets kill the baby so we can _____ (fill in the blank).
I wonder how anyone can say to God, "I know better than You! I know how many children I can handle, how many I can provide for, how many I can bear!"
I wonder how anyone can take the responsibility of deciding which child lives and which one dies.
I wonder how anyone can say no.
I wonder if I would be haunted by the little faces I would never see. The little voices that would never speak.
I wonder what would happen if Mom and Dad decided that I was too much.

Hard thoughts for people, I know. But thoughts that I cannot ignore.

There are lots of issues to consider besides how I will look after having many children. Lots to consider besides whether I can afford a baby, a house, two cars, the latest technology and the coolest clothes, and the trappings that go along with popular culture.
Lots of issues besides whether I will get the "me" time so many consider necessary.

I held a baby today. And it reminded me again of my dreams, and of my passion.

Open Wide The Door

Opening one's heart to what God wants can be such a hard thing to do.
It's scary to let go of the known and venture into the great unknown.
Who knows what might happen?

But then I consider that God is the one who made me. I think He can handle my future.

I often think I have the best idea of what that future should look like. And on top of that, I think it should be happening now, not later. So I keep a firm grasp on the door of my heart and what I have in mind and what I want and nothing will make me change my mind.
Until God whispers in my ear. I hear Him saying "trust me!" and a finger loosens its hold on the door of my heart.

I want something more than anything else on earth. I want it so much that I think about it all the time. The thought is there when I go to sleep, and when I wake. During the day it pops up continually.  That something is the desire to follow Jesus and His plan. Oh I want it so much! I want to make Him pleased that I am walking His path on this journey of life. But my troublesome wishes sometimes cloud the thought, drowning out the whispers.
Sometimes I just want to shout, saying, "Jesus! Take me!" and run as fast as I can toward what He wants.

But the door of my heart is stuck, sometimes. Locked for fear of hurt or disappointment, afraid of what might be beyond. And why? God has only proven Himself to be good, kind, and faithful. Not asking too much or more than I can do.

The door has to be flung open, welcoming God in.

Oh God, open the doors of my heart. Unlock the fears and help me to give my heart into Your hands. Take me and my life and use it as You wish. Show me Your path and let me walk in Your ways. Through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.

A psalm of David

 Psalm 20
May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.
Now this I know:
The Lord gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of hte Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
Lord, give victory to the king!
Answer us when we call!


My God helps me just as the Psalmist writes.
This is my ebenezer, my stone of strength. Here I raise it.

Present

Just got back from a church conference that I attend every year. It's huge. This year there were 13,000 in attendance.
It's always awesome. So many people, great bands (think Steve Fee, Hillsong, etc) and wonderful speakers. This year Mark Driscoll, Priscilla Shirer, Andy Stanley, Dave Ramsey and Francis Chan were a few of the main speakers. Then there's all kinds of random weird off the wall stuff they throw in just for fun.

Top take-away memory: 6:30am, and I'm on the top of the ferris wheel, looking out at busy big-city traffic and listening to a live jazz band. They're giving out free coffee and the fun is just beginning.

The theme this year was "Be Present" and it kind of underlined what I've been mulling over all year. That there's so much distraction and so much going on, and so many people busy escaping reality that they miss what is going on right in front of them, and they miss what is happening at the moment. So I'm sitting there, listening to message after message about being present, and thinking about the next tweet to sum it all up. Talk about ironic.

Being present means living the life that is happening now. Not wishing for the next thing, or trying to run ahead of the season you're in. Being present is noticing the leaves changing, or taking time to listen to the person speaking to you.
Being present means not being fearful, but saying yes to the adventure of life that is happening.
Being present means taking today and making something of it. Taking today and reaching out to others. Taking today and storing up eternal riches.

It's kind of another reminder to be contented and happy where I am at the moment and let God work here and now in me and through me. It's so easy for me to want to quickly finish this up and go on to the next thing. The next thing always looks more fun, more exciting, more fulfilling.
But it's now that matters.
I may never make it to the next thing.

More on being present coming in the next days and weeks.
I don't want my life to pass by without me.

I want to live, really live. I want to see and experience everything that is going on. I want to stop to smell that flower, or admire that view. I want to feel each footstep on the pathway, to enjoy the journey, not just rush to the destination. A life full of vibrancy and dancing and laughing.
A life of following Jesus and letting Him reach out through my hands to touch the people around me.

Don't forget, Katie. Don't forget to live. Don't forget to breathe. Don't forget to be present.