Whatever It Takes

It's been quiet on the ole blog lately. I've been too busy living life to stop and blog about it. Lots of things are going on, and there's always something else I should be doing.

And in all the busy things, the thought has been running down below the surface...God is good. This blog is turning into one big post of the good things God does. Sometimes it's the smallest things that I notice that are little gifts. Sometimes, it'll hit me that something big is going on, something bigger than I even imagine at this moment. Sometimes, I'm overwhelmed by His great love. Sometimes, I recognize the greatness of the fact that I have a relationship with the Creator of the universe. The one who made the stars, the atoms that make up the marvelous works, also allows me (little, insignificant me!) to have access to a relationship with Him. I can speak to Him. I can hear His voice as He responds. He works in my life, He gives good gifts. He gives strength when walking through fire-y pathways. This is reality. The goodness of God's presence in my life.

And I did not deserve any of it. What have I ever done to even begin to be owed any of this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is not owed to me at all.
It is a gift.

Even as I type this and try to understand the magnitude of these words, my brain can barely begin to grasp the meaning. I still don't understand. I still can't really find anything in the English language to truly express it or explain it.

I just have to accept the gift offered.

You know what fuels me? What drives me? What causes me to undergo uncomfortable things or make difficult decisions that impact my life in ways that cause deep hurt or discomfort?

My Jesus. My Jesus is worth whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whether that is my reputation, or my comfort level, or my body, or my life. Whatever it takes, here I am, ready.

My faith is deep. My belief in Christ, everything.

Here I am Lord. Accepting Your gift in the small way I am capable of. It's not much.
But here I am Lord.
Use me.