It's quiet. The silence wraps around me, friendly and warm.
I wonder how many days of silence it will take before I grow cold to it again?
It takes silence for contemplation to come.
Here I am again, after a whirlwind. After a needed break.
Here I am again, and a whole new adventure has begun. A new life has opened up suddenly, and at moments I am nearly breathless from it, at moments I am in awe. God has moved powerfully, and directed my steps anew. Prayers, deep ones, have been answered.
In January, in the midst of desperation, of heartbreak, of soul searching, I wrote down eight goals to work towards. Eight changes for positive steps, eight things that needed work. Eight goals.
Then life happened. I worked, I studied, I wrestled. For two dark months, I was in depression, I was facing darkness, and I felt like my life was going nowhere fast.
But prayers were being lifted, on my behalf. Many people were praying.
And I kept working, kept taking steps. Baby steps, one at at time. Paso a paso.
And God began to work, changing my heart. God began to give me strength, began to show me the beams of sunshine just beginning to show on the horizon.
I counted gifts, found the sunshine, and slowly it began to filter that God was there in the darkness, that He was there in the night, and that He had given light instead of darkness, and day instead of night. Slowly I felt His love again, slowly I believed His goodness again.
God is so good. All the time.
Finally, in April, I remembered that list of eight goals. I pulled them out again and looked at them and was astonished that all of them were either accomplished, or had a solid plan in place to accomplish them.
Step by step they had been met, step by step things had changed, and step by step my heart is being made whole again. Gods grace has been visibly evident. God's love has been showered down. And God's provision has been made manifest.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye, heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Showing posts with label Provision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Provision. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
40 Days of Lent: Journal Entry #3
See.
"What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, "Here I am!"
-Isaiah 58: 7-9
See.
I began mulling over what kind of photo to take to express that word and verse.
I thought of glasses to aid in seeing...
I thought of a keyhole to see through...
I thought of finding poverty to photograph.
So off I went to look for something to photograph to express seeing the needs around me. That's when I discovered how clean and tidy my town is. You don't see homelessness or poverty around like you'd think. There aren't many places to find the hungry or the shivering out on the street.
They are hidden.
Or maybe they are tidied up and covered up.
Maybe, its good that there isn't any visible poverty showing.
Maybe its very sad.
Maybe the sad part is the look of affluence, the excess around. The nice, tidy homes. Maybe it could be people who hide their poverty, or maybe its just people hiding from poverty.
How do I hide from poverty?
Thoughts on Seeing today. Seeing the poor, the shivering, the broken, the hungry.
Later:
After writing the above, I started thinking about poverty in my area. I asked on Facebook where I might find it here...and then I took a long drive alone.
I explored my town with new eyes, ventured into places and neighborhoods I didn't know existed, and found places where poverty slapped me in the face. Nothing hidden, covered up here. It was exposed, and shouting.
It was such an interesting experience. Nothing I saw was any worse than anything I encountered every day in Bolivia, yet there I wandered around quite fearlessly on foot, and in my car here, I began to feel fear as I drove through places where I obviously did not fit in. It gave me quite a pause, and I considered it while I drove slowly through neighborhoods watching little children play, watching people walk up and down the street, seeing houses in such sad shape yet with people living there anyway. In my hometown.
Why was I feeling that fear? Why was I glancing away, and why did I naturally turn toward the nicer streets first? I forced myself to turn against it, to face it, to look long at these places. To trace the dirt and grime, to meet the eyes of the people I saw, to smile at them. To see.
I was fearful of the depression and poverty. I was afraid of what might lurk, of things I have no real experience with. The shadows were long and attempting to grab me, and I was too willing to run away.
An interesting lesson to myself. Its easy to write about poverty on a nice laptop in a comfortable chair maybe while munching on delicious food. Its so easy to be self-righteous and hypocritical. But then when the rubber meets the road, and I come face to face with reality, what then? What about this world, this other side of things, ugly and uncomfortable? What do I know of it, and what am I doing about it?
I never took my photo today. I saw new things, I have many new mental snapshots within my own zip code, but I never snapped that button on my camera. I was busy seeing. The photo was not made, but it was a changed perspective and new way of looking at my own town, my own neighborhood, looking for those hidden places, or rather, the poverty I hide from.
"What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, "Here I am!"
-Isaiah 58: 7-9
See.
I began mulling over what kind of photo to take to express that word and verse.
I thought of glasses to aid in seeing...
I thought of a keyhole to see through...
I thought of finding poverty to photograph.
So off I went to look for something to photograph to express seeing the needs around me. That's when I discovered how clean and tidy my town is. You don't see homelessness or poverty around like you'd think. There aren't many places to find the hungry or the shivering out on the street.
They are hidden.
Or maybe they are tidied up and covered up.
Maybe, its good that there isn't any visible poverty showing.
Maybe its very sad.
Maybe the sad part is the look of affluence, the excess around. The nice, tidy homes. Maybe it could be people who hide their poverty, or maybe its just people hiding from poverty.
How do I hide from poverty?
Thoughts on Seeing today. Seeing the poor, the shivering, the broken, the hungry.
Later:
After writing the above, I started thinking about poverty in my area. I asked on Facebook where I might find it here...and then I took a long drive alone.
I explored my town with new eyes, ventured into places and neighborhoods I didn't know existed, and found places where poverty slapped me in the face. Nothing hidden, covered up here. It was exposed, and shouting.
It was such an interesting experience. Nothing I saw was any worse than anything I encountered every day in Bolivia, yet there I wandered around quite fearlessly on foot, and in my car here, I began to feel fear as I drove through places where I obviously did not fit in. It gave me quite a pause, and I considered it while I drove slowly through neighborhoods watching little children play, watching people walk up and down the street, seeing houses in such sad shape yet with people living there anyway. In my hometown.
Why was I feeling that fear? Why was I glancing away, and why did I naturally turn toward the nicer streets first? I forced myself to turn against it, to face it, to look long at these places. To trace the dirt and grime, to meet the eyes of the people I saw, to smile at them. To see.
I was fearful of the depression and poverty. I was afraid of what might lurk, of things I have no real experience with. The shadows were long and attempting to grab me, and I was too willing to run away.
An interesting lesson to myself. Its easy to write about poverty on a nice laptop in a comfortable chair maybe while munching on delicious food. Its so easy to be self-righteous and hypocritical. But then when the rubber meets the road, and I come face to face with reality, what then? What about this world, this other side of things, ugly and uncomfortable? What do I know of it, and what am I doing about it?
I never took my photo today. I saw new things, I have many new mental snapshots within my own zip code, but I never snapped that button on my camera. I was busy seeing. The photo was not made, but it was a changed perspective and new way of looking at my own town, my own neighborhood, looking for those hidden places, or rather, the poverty I hide from.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Disgusting Materialism
The past month or so I have been struck by materialism. And as the holiday season begins, it really causes me to notice it more and more. The materialism is just sickening to me.
I used to be just like the next one, and had lists of things I wanted for Christmas, or went shopping and wanted the things I saw. I was never brand loyal or interested in the latest technology or newest versions of things, but there was always something else I needed to be happy or live better.
Perhaps its because I spent the summer in an area of the world where they live with a much lower standard of living. Seeing people live joyously on so little puts things into perspective. Watching someone take crusts and leftovers off people's plates in a restaurant suddenly makes you want to clean your plate at home. Meeting little children who are hungry suddenly makes black Friday shopping seem much less...necessary.
Why do we do this? What does all the stuff even mean? Does it really make you happy to know that you have the latest $600 phone? Is it really a necessity? Does it really make you feel better about yourself to buy loads of new, shiny things? Things are meaningless. Things will go out of style, get broken or look less shiny. Things have a way of fading away, and then you can't remember what you even owned or had.
It all just makes me so disappointed to see people spending so much money and time on what lasts for moments or is quickly forgotten. We have things so backwards, and no one seems to realize, but rush on to the next item, or stand in line at the next sale to get the item that will make them happier or look better. And no one knows why, it seems. The money we spend on things for ourselves or our children...a fraction of that is someone else's daily living. And what are we spending it on?
The materialism is a problem when it grows so out of proportion with everything else, that it overshadows what is really important. How do you put into perspective what is necessary vs. what is superfluous?
I keep thinking of the line, "you can't take it with you." and I wonder, what happens to all the time spent on these things, when we die? What about all the money we've wasted? How is that accounted for when we're dead? What good did we do Steve Jobs by buying the newest version of the same product over and over again? What good did we do ourselves? And in the end, what did it all matter, really.
And then I think of the millions of people who just barely survive, much less worry about whether they have the things we deem necessary in our culture. Cable tv and internet on our cellphones. Some don't even have heated houses, or sufficient clothing. Not to mention decent food or water.
I'm generally feeling disgusted by it all, and especially this Christmas season. In the rush of buying, the flurry of making lists for Santa, I just want to sit back and say, so what? Where's it getting us, who is it helping, and who are we harming with all this STUFF. Stuff that will burn away and can disappear in moments. And leave us with....what becomes the essentials. Things like relationships, like character, like intangibles that will never be burned away or stolen. And this season to remember and celebrate Jesus' beginnings...I'm not sure the Jesus I know would be thrilled by what its turned into. Worshipful gratefulness for the gift of salvation, for what He ultimately came to do...by buying?
I find materialism disgusting. Things don't impress me. Let me see your passion, your life, your inner self. Those things will always be there, no matter what. I don't want to live with all this stuff. I don't want to be defined by it, I don't want my money wasted on it. I know we need certain things to live, but all those extras...what if we went without and gave the money to someone else?
I grew up during an extremely hard time in our family. We had many nice, new things, but compared to everyone else around us, we had nothing. I remember Christmas' with a new toy. A present from my parents. And it did a world of good for me. I never regret growing up with less than my friends. It gave me so much to be grateful for. It gave me so much awareness of what is really necessary to happiness. And it wasn't heaps of things.
Oh Jesus! Help us see that Your love is the ultimate important, necessary thing! Help us to put into perspective the things that attract us so, help us to use the gifts you have given us to show your love to others instead of selfishly thinking of ourselves. Forgive us for losing ourselves in things. With all my heart, I pray. Amen.
I used to be just like the next one, and had lists of things I wanted for Christmas, or went shopping and wanted the things I saw. I was never brand loyal or interested in the latest technology or newest versions of things, but there was always something else I needed to be happy or live better.
Perhaps its because I spent the summer in an area of the world where they live with a much lower standard of living. Seeing people live joyously on so little puts things into perspective. Watching someone take crusts and leftovers off people's plates in a restaurant suddenly makes you want to clean your plate at home. Meeting little children who are hungry suddenly makes black Friday shopping seem much less...necessary.
Why do we do this? What does all the stuff even mean? Does it really make you happy to know that you have the latest $600 phone? Is it really a necessity? Does it really make you feel better about yourself to buy loads of new, shiny things? Things are meaningless. Things will go out of style, get broken or look less shiny. Things have a way of fading away, and then you can't remember what you even owned or had.
It all just makes me so disappointed to see people spending so much money and time on what lasts for moments or is quickly forgotten. We have things so backwards, and no one seems to realize, but rush on to the next item, or stand in line at the next sale to get the item that will make them happier or look better. And no one knows why, it seems. The money we spend on things for ourselves or our children...a fraction of that is someone else's daily living. And what are we spending it on?
The materialism is a problem when it grows so out of proportion with everything else, that it overshadows what is really important. How do you put into perspective what is necessary vs. what is superfluous?
I keep thinking of the line, "you can't take it with you." and I wonder, what happens to all the time spent on these things, when we die? What about all the money we've wasted? How is that accounted for when we're dead? What good did we do Steve Jobs by buying the newest version of the same product over and over again? What good did we do ourselves? And in the end, what did it all matter, really.
And then I think of the millions of people who just barely survive, much less worry about whether they have the things we deem necessary in our culture. Cable tv and internet on our cellphones. Some don't even have heated houses, or sufficient clothing. Not to mention decent food or water.
I'm generally feeling disgusted by it all, and especially this Christmas season. In the rush of buying, the flurry of making lists for Santa, I just want to sit back and say, so what? Where's it getting us, who is it helping, and who are we harming with all this STUFF. Stuff that will burn away and can disappear in moments. And leave us with....what becomes the essentials. Things like relationships, like character, like intangibles that will never be burned away or stolen. And this season to remember and celebrate Jesus' beginnings...I'm not sure the Jesus I know would be thrilled by what its turned into. Worshipful gratefulness for the gift of salvation, for what He ultimately came to do...by buying?
I find materialism disgusting. Things don't impress me. Let me see your passion, your life, your inner self. Those things will always be there, no matter what. I don't want to live with all this stuff. I don't want to be defined by it, I don't want my money wasted on it. I know we need certain things to live, but all those extras...what if we went without and gave the money to someone else?
I grew up during an extremely hard time in our family. We had many nice, new things, but compared to everyone else around us, we had nothing. I remember Christmas' with a new toy. A present from my parents. And it did a world of good for me. I never regret growing up with less than my friends. It gave me so much to be grateful for. It gave me so much awareness of what is really necessary to happiness. And it wasn't heaps of things.
Oh Jesus! Help us see that Your love is the ultimate important, necessary thing! Help us to put into perspective the things that attract us so, help us to use the gifts you have given us to show your love to others instead of selfishly thinking of ourselves. Forgive us for losing ourselves in things. With all my heart, I pray. Amen.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
A Journey of Faith
Faith. Like a mustard seed, so tiny it is lost in the palm of your hand. And yet this is the chosen symbol from Jesus' mountain sermon. The people gathered there looked around them on that rocky hill and understood, for all around them were the mustard plants. It was imagery that was fresh, that used pieces of their reality. It was imagery that symbolized that a small insignificant seed could produce a tree, a miracle to be reckoned with. A symbol of the kingdom of God.
A journey of faith can be just as doubtful as looking at that mustard seed. It can be impossible at times to look at that seed and really believe it will produce anything worthwhile. That anything will come of it.
I am in that doubting moment. I doubt that the seed of the calling God has spoken in me will really come to anything. I doubt that water will come and sun will come and nutrients will come to bring that seed to fruition. I doubt that money will come to pay for what it requires to follow Jesus. I doubt that ministry will open up, that strength to follow through will be found. I doubt that these God-given dreams which I cannot escape will become reality to be reckoned with.
But I was reminded today of the journey so far. Remembering where I've been, where I came from, the innocent and unsuspecting beginnings. The beginnings that gave no hint of what was going to happen next.
My whole life has been woven and spun with graces and mercies. With strengths and unasked for provisions to accomplish what I did not suspect I would even ever do or become. Throughout, it has been intertwined with the golden sparkles of God's love and gifts.
And yet I sit here doubting.
If I have been called to something, if a ministry or mission has been given to me, if I am made for greater things, how could I think that I was then expected to achieve it on my own? Foolish thought! But a very real and even disquieting one.
Faith, looking into the spiritual dimension to see what God says about a matter, and then doing it.
Faith, believing that somehow, someway, God will move and the impossible will be possible.
Faith, hanging on and refusing to give up, refusing to accept the second rate offering.
Faith is stepping out, even with no idea of where that step will take us. Faith is not being discouraged when the rain feels late, when the knots are big, when the way is long.
Faith is a journey, I am learning. A journey towards living in peace and quietness, fearlessly trusting that God, who sends you, will also arrange for the message to be delivered. That God, who is weaving the story, who is controlling the threads, knows the pattern. That God knows when the rain and when the sun is needed.
Hebrews 11:1-3 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Accepting The Gift
Sunday I attended a large church service to celebrate and welcome a new bishop in our conference of United Methodist churches. It was a beautiful service, full of meaning and symbols, full of worshipful beauty. The pentacle of the service came towards the end, when we were celebrating holy communion together. All I remember is the beautiful music, of voice and organ. It was music that lifted higher as it went on, voices raised upward toward the One they were worshiping. They worshiped with excellence and thoughtfulness.
The music lead us toward the front, and we walked quietly, taking it slowly and holding our hands in readiness to receive the gift of Christ's body and blood. I remember the line of people ahead of me, each eager to be there, looking for a place, and all with hands held out, palms open to receive what God has offered. There is a beauty in that symbolism, if anyone takes a moment to recognize it. Christ was a gift to us, a gift beyond comprehension. And we can receive that gift, as if we deserved it. We offer our hands, out stretched and palms upward to accept the gift offered, to feel the bread given, a symbol of Christ's body. To accept the bread and dip it in the cup that represents Christ's blood.
I saw it all in a flash, a moment in time as I stood in line to receive my gift. My gift of redemption, my gift of freedom from the sin that causes me such heartache. My gift of a relationship with Christ. My gift of experiencing the kingdom of God here and now. My gift of grace.
And everyone, together, received this gift.We did not pluck it from the hands of the giver. We did not grasp it and take it from His hands by force.
We waited until it was placed there. We waited until it was given. Just as there were thousands of years between the promise to Abraham, and the fulfillment of Jesus, we waited, time suspended until the gift was given, and we accepted it and it entered us and Christ entered us, and we tasted the ground wheat and the crushed grapes.
That was the pentacle of the service Sunday. That we accepted the gift given to us. The gift of Christ is accepted every time we accept communion. We experience the grace of Christ's love and power every time we accept communion.
Beautiful.
Let us accept the gift always.
The music lead us toward the front, and we walked quietly, taking it slowly and holding our hands in readiness to receive the gift of Christ's body and blood. I remember the line of people ahead of me, each eager to be there, looking for a place, and all with hands held out, palms open to receive what God has offered. There is a beauty in that symbolism, if anyone takes a moment to recognize it. Christ was a gift to us, a gift beyond comprehension. And we can receive that gift, as if we deserved it. We offer our hands, out stretched and palms upward to accept the gift offered, to feel the bread given, a symbol of Christ's body. To accept the bread and dip it in the cup that represents Christ's blood.
I saw it all in a flash, a moment in time as I stood in line to receive my gift. My gift of redemption, my gift of freedom from the sin that causes me such heartache. My gift of a relationship with Christ. My gift of experiencing the kingdom of God here and now. My gift of grace.
And everyone, together, received this gift.We did not pluck it from the hands of the giver. We did not grasp it and take it from His hands by force.
We waited until it was placed there. We waited until it was given. Just as there were thousands of years between the promise to Abraham, and the fulfillment of Jesus, we waited, time suspended until the gift was given, and we accepted it and it entered us and Christ entered us, and we tasted the ground wheat and the crushed grapes.
That was the pentacle of the service Sunday. That we accepted the gift given to us. The gift of Christ is accepted every time we accept communion. We experience the grace of Christ's love and power every time we accept communion.
Beautiful.
Let us accept the gift always.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
:Bounce: :Bounce: :Bounce:
This is just a happy little post because I'm ready to bounce off the walls. And there's a lot to be happy about!
I just had a cup of coffee. It's Guatemalan, and was roasted in the last few days not too far from here. Gosh, was it good, too. I'm ready to tackle anything now! Coffee buzz, top notch.
God has been really moving and working in several situations lately, and I'm humbled that He'd take time to care for me like that. He answers prayers, brings strength, and heaps blessings upon blessings. I certainly don't deserve it! But I am deeply grateful. I'm so glad that I have a personal connection with the maker of this universe.
I'm so thankful for the many gifts and things God has done for me. Too many to count or mention, but they are crowding around me, demanding that I share the goodness of the Lord.
Psalm 9:1-2 I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
I just had a cup of coffee. It's Guatemalan, and was roasted in the last few days not too far from here. Gosh, was it good, too. I'm ready to tackle anything now! Coffee buzz, top notch.
God has been really moving and working in several situations lately, and I'm humbled that He'd take time to care for me like that. He answers prayers, brings strength, and heaps blessings upon blessings. I certainly don't deserve it! But I am deeply grateful. I'm so glad that I have a personal connection with the maker of this universe.
I'm so thankful for the many gifts and things God has done for me. Too many to count or mention, but they are crowding around me, demanding that I share the goodness of the Lord.
Psalm 9:1-2 I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Surpassing Power
2 Corinthians 4:7-10
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
Afflicted,
not crushed.
Perplexed,
not driven to despair.
Persecuted,
not forsaken.
Struck down,
not destroyed.
Because the surpassing power belongs to God,
not us.
A promise we can remember,
not forgotten.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
The Bud Of Promise
The bud opens as the sun warms the ground and scatters rays of hope for beautiful days to come. A little rain brings rich color, and fresh revitalization. It's a new day. A new day full of beginnings, fresh and clean with no mistakes. A new day full of promise and new things to do and new things to accomplish. A bud opening to the full bloom of joy and living. The full bloom of beauty as the sun shines down, bringing life and energy again.
Thanks be to God.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Food Is Essential, I'm Finding
I've been learning about the importance of eating lately. Now, this may seem elementary to most people, and something that others would say "duh!" when I bring it up. But I've learned it's really, really important to eat. Like, really.
For me, eating has been a struggle for some time. I just really don't like to do it. I like to talk about food, and talk about eating, but when it comes right down to it, I tend to forget or avoid it. It's not that I want to avoid it in order to stay slim, either. I'm just lacking that lovely natural mechanism that kicks in called "hunger" that reminds me that food is essential. And when others are eating things, I'm just not as interested in it. I'm really pretty good with just one bite. I don't have to eat the whole piece in order to reach that satisfied feeling of taste. One or two bites, and I'm happy.
But I'm finding that one or two bites of food a day just won't keep me alive. I can't go for long periods of time without eating. It's a long story, but I've learned that it's really essential to eat more than a snack a day. Like, really.
The past two weeks have been all about the food. First thing in the morning, I eat. I get to work and eat, and then eat again. Then I come home and guess what? I eat again! But the impact of all that food has really taken me by surprise. The amount of energy and emotional stability it has produced has astounded me. I didn't realize I was literally starving. I didn't realize that life cannot be maintained without proper sustenance. I didn't realize that just eating healthy food would do so much for my mood and emotions, either!
This kind of reminds me of another essential food we need: God's word, given to us by the prophets and the law through inspiration of the Holy Spirit. If I have been starving myself by not eating, then what happens when I don't read the Bible? What happens when I go long periods of time without that essential addition to my spiritual well-being? I become dry and emotional and swept along with the strongest wind of doctrine that blows.
In addition to falling into a habit of never eating, I also found myself in the habit of never reading the Bible, either. It's easier to do something else. It's easier to check my cell phone, or look at Facebook or yes, even blog than spend time storing up energy from time reading and thinking about God's word. Those essential spiritual nutrients were falling into a depleted state.
So what to do about it?
Make time to read. Make time to sit and think about what God is saying, especially when I don't feel like it. When I feel like it least, is the most important time of all to partake of the goodness in front of me.
My goal over the next few weeks is to increase the time spent listening to and reading and thinking about the message God has sent to us, which coincides with the goal to increase my food intake.
Not only will my body and mind benefit, but my soul will, also.
For me, eating has been a struggle for some time. I just really don't like to do it. I like to talk about food, and talk about eating, but when it comes right down to it, I tend to forget or avoid it. It's not that I want to avoid it in order to stay slim, either. I'm just lacking that lovely natural mechanism that kicks in called "hunger" that reminds me that food is essential. And when others are eating things, I'm just not as interested in it. I'm really pretty good with just one bite. I don't have to eat the whole piece in order to reach that satisfied feeling of taste. One or two bites, and I'm happy.
But I'm finding that one or two bites of food a day just won't keep me alive. I can't go for long periods of time without eating. It's a long story, but I've learned that it's really essential to eat more than a snack a day. Like, really.
The past two weeks have been all about the food. First thing in the morning, I eat. I get to work and eat, and then eat again. Then I come home and guess what? I eat again! But the impact of all that food has really taken me by surprise. The amount of energy and emotional stability it has produced has astounded me. I didn't realize I was literally starving. I didn't realize that life cannot be maintained without proper sustenance. I didn't realize that just eating healthy food would do so much for my mood and emotions, either!
This kind of reminds me of another essential food we need: God's word, given to us by the prophets and the law through inspiration of the Holy Spirit. If I have been starving myself by not eating, then what happens when I don't read the Bible? What happens when I go long periods of time without that essential addition to my spiritual well-being? I become dry and emotional and swept along with the strongest wind of doctrine that blows.
In addition to falling into a habit of never eating, I also found myself in the habit of never reading the Bible, either. It's easier to do something else. It's easier to check my cell phone, or look at Facebook or yes, even blog than spend time storing up energy from time reading and thinking about God's word. Those essential spiritual nutrients were falling into a depleted state.
So what to do about it?
Make time to read. Make time to sit and think about what God is saying, especially when I don't feel like it. When I feel like it least, is the most important time of all to partake of the goodness in front of me.
My goal over the next few weeks is to increase the time spent listening to and reading and thinking about the message God has sent to us, which coincides with the goal to increase my food intake.
Not only will my body and mind benefit, but my soul will, also.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Healing
A broken heart. I know how it feels. I know the intense pain so deep and strong. At times barely able to breathe. At times blinded, vision blurred with the force of the pain. Reeling from a roller-coaster of emotions and memories. A broken heart, a thousand pieces, and shards within causing internal bleeding.
Oh yes. A broken heart, with darkness all around. And thinking there is no hope- thinking the pain would be present forever.
And then slowly, like a cool soothing balm, God's Spirit touches that brokenness. Touches and heals, putting the pieces back together, making it whole again. God's finger, writing joy back into our hearts and lives.
It reminds me of the broken heart of Christ, when rejected at crucifixion. His was a heart broken from rejection from His Father. His was a heart broken because of the mistakes and evil things thought and acted by others. His broken heart made possible the healing of our hearts. His heart, resurrected, allows our hopes to be resurrected as well.
A broken heart can seem so impossible to put together from the many bits and pieces. But the Creator of the universe can create anew our souls. He creates a new heart from the pain, a new soul. And where the cracks were is made stronger and more unified than ever possible before. And how do we get this healing?
It's simple. We ask.
We ask and we receive.
I know of healing. I know at times it creeps along slowly. One atom at a time, one vessel at a time until a whole organ, a whole soul is revealed. I know that healing has to be asked for, and worked toward, sometimes. We ask for it, and it is simple. We allow Christ to heal us. I know that it is real.
Healing will come.
Broken hearts remade.
Broken lives restored.
Broken worlds made new.
Why? Because God heals. And that is sure. Something to hang on to during everything.
It's true. I know. Because it is happening to me.
~
Psalm 30:1-12
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up, and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol, restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones, and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
As for me, I said in my prosperity, "I shall never be moved."
By your favor, O Lord, you had established me as a strong mountain; you hid your face; I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I cried, and to the Lord I made supplication:
"What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the Pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me! O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
2 Kings 5:1-14
The story of Naaman, asking for healing.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Running to win the race.
Mark 1:40-45
The leper is healed.
Oh yes. A broken heart, with darkness all around. And thinking there is no hope- thinking the pain would be present forever.
And then slowly, like a cool soothing balm, God's Spirit touches that brokenness. Touches and heals, putting the pieces back together, making it whole again. God's finger, writing joy back into our hearts and lives.
It reminds me of the broken heart of Christ, when rejected at crucifixion. His was a heart broken from rejection from His Father. His was a heart broken because of the mistakes and evil things thought and acted by others. His broken heart made possible the healing of our hearts. His heart, resurrected, allows our hopes to be resurrected as well.
A broken heart can seem so impossible to put together from the many bits and pieces. But the Creator of the universe can create anew our souls. He creates a new heart from the pain, a new soul. And where the cracks were is made stronger and more unified than ever possible before. And how do we get this healing?
It's simple. We ask.
We ask and we receive.
I know of healing. I know at times it creeps along slowly. One atom at a time, one vessel at a time until a whole organ, a whole soul is revealed. I know that healing has to be asked for, and worked toward, sometimes. We ask for it, and it is simple. We allow Christ to heal us. I know that it is real.
Healing will come.
Broken hearts remade.
Broken lives restored.
Broken worlds made new.
Why? Because God heals. And that is sure. Something to hang on to during everything.
It's true. I know. Because it is happening to me.
~
Psalm 30:1-12
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up, and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol, restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones, and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
As for me, I said in my prosperity, "I shall never be moved."
By your favor, O Lord, you had established me as a strong mountain; you hid your face; I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I cried, and to the Lord I made supplication:
"What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the Pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me! O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
2 Kings 5:1-14
The story of Naaman, asking for healing.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Running to win the race.
Mark 1:40-45
The leper is healed.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Praise
I just want to praise my God and Creator and share some of the beautiful things He does.
He heals. He heals my friends of their fears and their cancer! He heals hearts. He heals minds. He heals feelings!
He provides. He provides comfort and peace, joy and love. He provides when it seems all is lost, and exactly on time.
He gives beautiful gifts. Pink and purple sunsets, streaked with gold. Rain, to bring refreshment to revitalize. Friends in unexpected places, coffee to tantalize with scents and tastes. He gives life, full and vibrant!
His works are many and varied, ever present and always there. And I am trying to notice them more and more, letting His works and love consume me inside and out, fill me with awe, and bring me back to His feet.
It's a beautiful life, it's a wonderful world. I praise Him.
He heals. He heals my friends of their fears and their cancer! He heals hearts. He heals minds. He heals feelings!
He provides. He provides comfort and peace, joy and love. He provides when it seems all is lost, and exactly on time.
He gives beautiful gifts. Pink and purple sunsets, streaked with gold. Rain, to bring refreshment to revitalize. Friends in unexpected places, coffee to tantalize with scents and tastes. He gives life, full and vibrant!
His works are many and varied, ever present and always there. And I am trying to notice them more and more, letting His works and love consume me inside and out, fill me with awe, and bring me back to His feet.
It's a beautiful life, it's a wonderful world. I praise Him.
Monday, January 16, 2012
A Lesson On Thankfulness
I remember the cut of the cold wind. The ground was muddy, and with the sun behind clouds, the day was dreary and bone-chilling. I was in Bolivia, visiting a small community and a school where they worked with the poorest of the poor. The school director was taking us for a walk around the neighborhood to see some of the good work they had done to help families live a better life. We viewed pigs and goats that allowed single mothers to have a chance to earn money so they could care for their families. We saw where they were learning to garden more productively and heard how many of the parents in the neighborhood had learned to read along with their children. Then one of the mothers invited us to her house. She was excited about the good things that was happening in her life because of the ministry the school was doing. She wanted to share a little of her gratitude with us.
We stepped away from the roads, deeply rutted and difficult to navigate because of the deep mud and entered a little area where I saw this:
I remember thinking we were first going to see perhaps where her animals lived.
But no. This was her house. Where she lived with her children. When we entered, the children were in the bed and the interpreter told us they were there because it was the warmest place to be on a cold day like that.
As you can see, her home was tarp and tin held together with a few rusty nails and rope. There were plenty of cracks to allow the cold wind to blow through. Chickens wandered in and out. These pictures show everything she owned. Yet the most striking thing about this encounter was not the hovel they called home, or the fact that she had so little. It was her gratefulness. She was overflowing about how grateful she was for God being with her and giving her so much. She talked about how good God was, and about how thankful she was for a home and children, and for the ministry she could be a part of at the school. She was so overwhelmingly grateful. That stuck in my memory more than anything else. I would have been devastated to learn I had to live in these conditions. Yet she was so joyful and full of gratitude. At the time I had just moved into a much smaller house and was concerned about closet space. She was grateful for dirt floors.
A lesson on thankfulness. She took it to a whole new level for me. It was truly humbling to see her heart of thankfulness for what she had, and to learn the lesson before me of gratitude and being content. A lesson I still remember and will never forget.
We stepped away from the roads, deeply rutted and difficult to navigate because of the deep mud and entered a little area where I saw this:
I remember thinking we were first going to see perhaps where her animals lived.
But no. This was her house. Where she lived with her children. When we entered, the children were in the bed and the interpreter told us they were there because it was the warmest place to be on a cold day like that.
As you can see, her home was tarp and tin held together with a few rusty nails and rope. There were plenty of cracks to allow the cold wind to blow through. Chickens wandered in and out. These pictures show everything she owned. Yet the most striking thing about this encounter was not the hovel they called home, or the fact that she had so little. It was her gratefulness. She was overflowing about how grateful she was for God being with her and giving her so much. She talked about how good God was, and about how thankful she was for a home and children, and for the ministry she could be a part of at the school. She was so overwhelmingly grateful. That stuck in my memory more than anything else. I would have been devastated to learn I had to live in these conditions. Yet she was so joyful and full of gratitude. At the time I had just moved into a much smaller house and was concerned about closet space. She was grateful for dirt floors.
A lesson on thankfulness. She took it to a whole new level for me. It was truly humbling to see her heart of thankfulness for what she had, and to learn the lesson before me of gratitude and being content. A lesson I still remember and will never forget.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Enveloped In Mystery
This photo was taken yesterday morning. There was such a thick fog, but the sun was glimmering through. It enveloped everything with a golden light that shone through the shroud of mystery and quiet of the fog.
I can't help but think of my life and how often my pathway seems to be shrouded and enveloped with fog. But the sun glimmers through, bringing rays of light and soon warms things up until it's all crystal clear.
A hope to remember and watch for.
I am grateful for the sun that cuts through the fog.
I am grateful for the beauty of the hope that shines, magnified through the mystery.
I am grateful for a lens that catches the hope and makes it tangible.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Magnificat
And Mary said,
My soul doth magnify the Lord,
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior,
For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He hath helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed forever.
My soul doth magnify the Lord.
Monday, November 28, 2011
It's A Beautiful World
It's a wonderful life.
The aventura de la vida moves.
It swirls, it races, it dances, it sings. It's a shower of raindrops sparkling in sudden sunshine. It's a red leaf dropping to the ground. It's a flurry of white snow flakes. Always moving, always fresh, always active!
I love it.
Life is breathing and pulsing. Life is worth celebrating. Life is so much joy. It bubbles up from the deeps of my heart. And makes me want to smile!
Life is God.
And God is so good!
I will sing praise to the God most high. I will raise my hands to the heavens to acknowledge the power greater than I. I will use my tongue to bring praise to His name.
His ways are so much better than mine.
His blessings overflow.
His strength brings grace to my life.
His love is overpowering.
I wish I could find the words to express how I feel about how good God is. I wish I could reveal it all, I wish I could share the extent. I am continually amazed. Continually humbled. Continually glad to see the movement of God in my life.
But you will have to just experience it for yourself. Look for God in your life. Find the ways He moves and how He reveals Himself to you.
Sing praise!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Let Me Tell You About My Jesus
I was led through a valley, and then began to trudge up a hill. It's been rocky and steep, and every time I see a stream of sunshine, I fall and scrape my knee. But the lessons are there to learn if I look for them.
And my Lord has never forsaken me.
I want to tell others that He is there, and that He is working. I know, because I've seen it. I can prove it.
During the darkness and doubts, and struggling, Jesus has come to my side and He has given me
Mercy. On hardest days of climbing, the pain was eased.
Grace. Strength to do what I thought was impossible.
Trust. When I was lost.
Strength. To keep on, even when I was so weary.
Hope. When I couldn't see.
Peace. That can't be explained.
Happiness. When I needed relief.
Light. To follow and illuminate.
Everything I need.
God never said He'd make it easy. But He did say He'd help us during hard times. He did say He'd be with us. He promised He'd help us carry our cross.
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can he say than to you He hath said-
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
"Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
"The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake."
How Firm A Foundation, John Keith.
And my Lord has never forsaken me.
I want to tell others that He is there, and that He is working. I know, because I've seen it. I can prove it.
During the darkness and doubts, and struggling, Jesus has come to my side and He has given me
Mercy. On hardest days of climbing, the pain was eased.
Grace. Strength to do what I thought was impossible.
Trust. When I was lost.
Strength. To keep on, even when I was so weary.
Hope. When I couldn't see.
Peace. That can't be explained.
Happiness. When I needed relief.
Light. To follow and illuminate.
Everything I need.
God never said He'd make it easy. But He did say He'd help us during hard times. He did say He'd be with us. He promised He'd help us carry our cross.
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can he say than to you He hath said-
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
"Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
"The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake."
How Firm A Foundation, John Keith.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Quiet Happiness
I love the feeling of peace. I love the quiet happiness that settles into my heart and life. It's the moments of joy and knowing that God is there and He's guiding and directing my life if I will just relax and let Him. It's so good to have it back after a hard time of darkness.
It's in the moments of swinging on the porch swing in the evenings, talking to my parents.
It's in the moments of playing kickball in the backyard and laughing at ourselves because we can't throw worth a darn.
It's just as I'm falling asleep and smiling to myself because I know. I know. I know. that He is there. He hasn't forsaken me. He hasn't forgotten me. He has a plan for this journey of life.
Quiet happiness.
If there's one lesson I am learning on this hill, it's that God always leads us. And always guides us. And He won't let us make mistakes or miss-step. But we have to trust Him, and allow Him to lead. We have to learn to follow.
It reminds me of dancing. As a girl, I have to follow the lead of my partner. He's the one who decides where we go on the dance floor, and what moves we'll be making. He guides the dance. He's in charge. I just have to follow. When I follow, I think about how to follow. I have to relax and let him lead, and not try to take over. Sometimes it's hard, because I start thinking about how I anticipate the dance to go. And that's when I miss-step.
Just as I enjoy dancing with a good lead, I want to be a good follow.
When I was little, I remember standing on my grandfather's shoes as he danced around the room with me. I remember giggling because I was dancing with my Paw-Paw. He danced. I held on. We laughed.
So in this grand dance of life, I'm the follow. God is the lead. I just need to relax, and let Him guide me. Then the dance will be smooth and beautiful.
Psalm 31:14-15
But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord:
I say, "You are my God."
My times are in Your hand.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Jesus Comes
Jesus comes when you least expect it, and need it most.
Please pray that Jesus will come to the victims of the tornadoes that hit Alabama yesterday.
I have seen the damage. I have heard the voices of those searching for missing family members. I have heard of people who have died. So many have lost all their earthly possessions. They need Jesus.
Today I visited a town that was hit hard by the storm. It is basically gone. I was given the job of photographer. Unfortunately, it wasn't my camera so I can't share pictures. But I had a chance to view the scene in a close up as I took photos of damage.
And I was reminded once again that Jesus came. And Jesus still comes. All we need is Jesus.
Keep watch, dear Lord, over those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen.
Please pray that Jesus will come to the victims of the tornadoes that hit Alabama yesterday.
I have seen the damage. I have heard the voices of those searching for missing family members. I have heard of people who have died. So many have lost all their earthly possessions. They need Jesus.
Today I visited a town that was hit hard by the storm. It is basically gone. I was given the job of photographer. Unfortunately, it wasn't my camera so I can't share pictures. But I had a chance to view the scene in a close up as I took photos of damage.
And I was reminded once again that Jesus came. And Jesus still comes. All we need is Jesus.
Keep watch, dear Lord, over those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Release
I'm fascinated by this photo.
I love how the seed is hanging on, but just about ready to fly away...into it's own adventure, to begin it's life as it's own dandelion.
It can be a difficult thing, to begin a journey of life. An aventura de la vida. There are fears to be faced, steps to be taken, rocks to navigate, and then hopefully, finally, the smooth and pleasant places.
Just as the seed is ready to release, a breeze comes and sweeps it away. It dances on the breeze until it finally rests someplace, and sets about to do what dandelions do.
Which is bloom where it's planted, and then spread seeds so more dandelions can come forth.
In this journey of life, this pathway, there is only one sure thing.
That God is in control, that God is speaking into my life, that God will send the breeze to send me whither He wishes. And that He will give the strength and the opportunities to do what Christians do. Which is bloom where they're planted and then spread the gospel so more Christians can come forth.
The reason for this aventura de la vida.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Paralyzing Fear
- How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said—
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled? - “Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand. - “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress. - “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine. - “The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
My sister Carrie sings this song sometimes when we play at churches or other places. A week or so ago she was practicing, and I was sitting in the rocking chair with my eyes closed and let the beautiful song and lyrics fill my heart.
One of the things that struck me was how calming and assuring this song is. It's all about how God will not forsake you, even if you're going through the hard things. It never says the hard things will be taken away, just that the hard things won't overcome you.
Fear. It can be a distressing, overwhelming feeling. Or it can be a reverent awe.
It's easy to let fear over take you and consume you and paralyze you.
It's easy to let fear keep you from fulfilling dreams or taking necessary risks.
It's easy to let fear control.
I have a first hand memory of fear taking control. Paralyzing fear.
It was after I had had a stressful, fearful season. I didn't even realize quite how fearful a season it was. Then one night I became paralyzed literally with fear. I awakened one night to find that I could not move my arms or legs, that I could only breathe in short, panting breaths. Dad had to carry me to the car so we could go to the emergency room. Once there the attack had started to wear off, but they gave me some meds and told me to breathe deeply and slowly.
I'll never forget the feeling of being so fearful I was paralyzed. It was horrible.
Then it happened again.
But this time I had learned to fight fear. I was able to think through the fear and practice taking deep, calming breaths.
And now to apply it to my life in other ways. I could not let fear stand in the way of things I wanted to do or felt called to do.
One of my greatest fears growing up was the fear of communicating with others when there was a language barrier of one sort or another. As a way to face this fear and take deep, calming breaths, I signed up for a mission trip to a country where they did not speak English, and I didn't speak their language, which was Spanish.
And when I faced this fear, and walked steadily forward, I found that it wasn't so hard after all. And that Christ's love is an international language.
Facing fear can be difficult. It is certainly risky. But I am determined to not let fear be the overwhelming factor. Especially when I recall how often I have read in the Bible to not fear. When I am doing what God is calling me to do, when I am being obedient, and holy, there is no reason and no place for fear.
Instead, an animation of boldness. Because God's grace is sufficient.
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