Paso A Paso

It's quiet. The silence wraps around me, friendly and warm.
I wonder how many days of silence it will take before I grow cold to it again?
It takes silence for contemplation to come.

Here I am again, after a whirlwind. After a needed break.
Here I am again, and a whole new adventure has begun. A new life has opened up suddenly, and at moments I am nearly breathless from it, at moments I am in awe. God has moved powerfully, and directed my steps anew. Prayers, deep ones, have been answered.

In January, in the midst of desperation, of heartbreak, of soul searching, I wrote down eight goals to work towards. Eight changes for positive steps, eight things that needed work. Eight goals.
Then life happened. I worked, I studied, I wrestled. For two dark months, I was in depression, I was facing darkness, and I felt like my life was going nowhere fast.

But prayers were being lifted, on my behalf. Many people were praying.

And I kept working, kept taking steps. Baby steps, one at at time. Paso a paso.

And God began to work, changing my heart. God began to give me strength, began to show me the beams of sunshine just beginning to show on the horizon.

I counted gifts, found the sunshine, and slowly it began to filter that God was there in the darkness, that He was there in the night, and that He had given light instead of darkness, and day instead of night. Slowly I felt His love again, slowly I believed His goodness again.

God is so good. All the time.

Finally, in April, I remembered that list of eight goals. I pulled them out again and looked at them and was astonished that all of them were either accomplished, or had a solid plan in place to accomplish them.

Step by step they had been met, step by step things had changed, and step by step my heart is being made whole again. Gods grace has been visibly evident. God's love has been showered down. And God's provision has been made manifest.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye, heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

Peace and Reflection

The following quotes are from two different devotionals given to me the last week. I've begun reading them daily, and found both meaningful and pertinent for today.

From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

"My peace is the treasure of treasures: the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift, both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life's storms. If you have the world's peace-everything going your way-you don't seek My unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world. Matthew 13:46, James 1:2, John 16:33"

And from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers:

Transformed By Insight

"2 Corinthians 3:18 We all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image.

The outstanding characteristic of a Christian is this unveiled frankness before God so that the life becomes a mirror for other lives. By being filled with the Spirit we are transformed, and by beholding we become mirrors. You always know when a man has been beholding the glory of the Lord; you feel in your inner spirit that he is the mirror of the Lord's own character. Beware of anything which would sully that mirror in you; it is nearly always a good thing, the good that is not the best.  The golden rule for your life and mine is this concentrated keeping of the life open towards God. Let everything else-work, clothes, food, everything on earth-go by the board, saving that one thing. The rush of other things always tends to obscure this concentration on God. We have to maintain ourselves in the place of beholding, keeping the life absolutely spiritual all through. Let other things come and go as they may, let other people criticize as they will, but never allow anything to obscure the life that is hid with Christ in God. Never be hurried out of the relationship of abiding in Him. It is the one thing that is apt to fluctuate but it ought not to. The severest discipline of a Christian's life is to learn how to keep "beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord." "

The first one about peace is significant because I have been seeking peace in my heart and life. And I am discovering that perhaps peace is through trusting, and trusting is through faith, and faith is by living what you know to be true.
The second one is how that peace from God is shown to others. The light in us is a mirror of God in our heart. How we keep that mirror clear so God can be seen by others is by opening our heart toward God and not towards all the other things around us like the food, clothes or other things. The other things cause our mirror to be fogged up. I want others to look at me and behold in the glass the glory of the Lord, to see the peace and love in me.
Part of this journey.

Transformed

Life is such a transformative process. Its never still, always moving and changing you, if you let it. If you're living passionately and fully. And as you live, you change, transforming into a person you never thought of before. Its beautiful and mysterious, and it all fits together in a way that can't always be explained. Any attempts to define it turn into an emphatic shake of the head, and a "that's life!" comment.

Every so often I suddenly awaken to the fact that I have changed or moved on to being someone I never thought of before for myself. I take a quick look around and realize that the Katie that used to be has morphed into the Katie of today, and often its like watercolors that have bled from pastel to vibrancy, or from one color to another, becoming an interesting riot of yellows or pinks, blending into oranges or purples, fading into an entirely new shade.

Every so often I realize that the passions or interests or reactions have all changed, and I'm doing things or going places I never thought I'd see myself do or go. New paths are taken, the old ones never to return. Its interesting, to take an observer standpoint and review my life, watching myself as a movie, as it were. I wonder how the story will end, because I get to a certain point and suddenly realize there is only future left, no more history to remember. It remains to be made.

Things happen on the journey, new places open up new vistas and thoughts, and experiences introduce new ideas of possibility. And in the blink of an eye, a snapshot is made, is set into history, and things all change again.

And here we go again, into a new being, transforming again. I hope it is transforming into a better person, with lessons learned. I hope it is with wisdom and joy and depth that I change, becoming more of a well-rounded, healthy person.

 I have to let it happen though. I have to allow the changes of ideas and let go of the past long enough to embrace what comes next. To allow the pain of difference to heal into a stronger version of myself.

I have to allow Christ to change my innermost being, transform me into a new Katie, and embrace the work it takes to keep on changing, to keep on following His new paths within me. Because isn't that the ultimate goal? To become more like Him, mirroring Him as much as possible within ourselves. To follow His examples and to allow our lives to show His love?
Transformational.

Peace of God

Today's Bible verse:

Philippians 4:5-7
The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Moving Onward

And here we go.
We begin a new year.

And the old one passes away, joining memories and become past. Becoming a part of our history.

A bittersweet change, from old to new. For me, tied up with endings and beginnings, and all sorts of new experiences and memories on the journey. But somehow, I am not sad to see it go. I will be glad to begin again, to go forward from here.

At times, you see, it has felt so hopeless to me. A hopeless place, where I'm just pacing, waiting and revisiting everything I've done before. Day comes, and the rounds go on, and night comes, only to bring day again, and have I moved forward?
At times, you see, it has felt like I've gathered dust.
Perhaps I haven't. Perhaps during those dust-gathering times I've been growing somehow, or grabbing onto grace somehow. Perhaps, its for a reason, but frustration has been tangible, too.

Perhaps, the grand things have been the moments of grace. Like living in Bolivia. Bolivia. I say the name and floods of thoughts, ideas, memories come. I say the name, and go into Spanish mode, thinking in Español a mi mismo and taste the rice and feel the itch of hundreds of mosquito bites again. Bolivia was the highlight of the year, the great lesson teacher, the shining months of happiness. I remember the first time I laughed in months was there. Really laughed, with head thrown back, eyes shut, laughing from my toes. Sun shining down on my head, sparkling in my eyes. I remember that laugh. I remember those moments.

I remember moments on a motorcycle, wind catching my hair and blowing it behind, giggling softly to myself, because the driver couldn't understand me, and I couldn't understand him, and we got lost together in his hometown, with me giving directions in a strange half Spanish, half sign language way. At last we found the place, and he smiled shyly and charged me much less than he should have, and we laughed together before he sped on to the next fare.

A grand thing, was teaching 5 little children, all who nestled into a little place in my heart. Washing hands, reading books, making paintings, sliding down the slide (teacher is sliding down the big slide- they giggled so much at that) and playing all sorts of games. I taught them to read and write letters, crooked as they may have been. They taught me joy in simple things like goldfish crackers, and friends who share.

Grand things, small things they seemed, too. Day by day things. Like catching those perfect shots on my camera. Like a few hours here and there in a coffee shop with a sibling. Like hours on the phone with my best friend. Like cherished emails and chats and time spent in special places, just being together. Golden moments. Small adventures. They gather together to create the dust of the clay of the whole year, becoming part of who I am.

Hard things, too. Many tears, my heart aching. Many times head down, working as hard as I could, lips tight in determination. Many nights spent studying, praying, writing as I endured.
Life. Vida. Its all a part of the journey.

No, I don't want to go back and begin this year again. I'd rather go forward. I'd rather move on. But I am grateful for lessons learned, for experiences lived through, for grace showered down from God.

And I look forward to the next one. I wait anxiously to see what happens. I search earnestly for Christ's leading.

Onward. Upward. Vaya con Dios. Viaje con Dios. Go with God. Journey with God.

Today's Hidden Gift

Check out my post over on A Thousand Hidden Gifts. The photo today was snapped after a sudden stop, a U turn, and a quick dig through my bag for my camera.

"I love the rainbow in the sky, the promise that it implies of hope and forever life. I love how the orange bleeds into the pink, which turns slowly to purple and the designs of the tree against it all creating a lacy framework. I love how it represents so many different things, diverse, yet together creating a beauty that stops traffic, that causes you to sit and stare for a bit, marveling at the glory of it. I love the splendid evidence of God's enjoyment of color and vividness."

How can I even describe how I feel or what I think, when focusing the camera on such a beautiful painting? It inspires me to worship, it inspires me to awe as I wonder about the One who creates it every day.

A moment from my aventura today.

To Run Without Stumbling

Almighty and merciful God, it is only by your gift that your faithful people offer you true and laudable service: Grant that we may run without stumbling to obtain your heavenly promises; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (BCP)

To run without stumbling.  How may we run without stumbling? How may we focus on the path and on the goal and manage to still run, full speed ahead and not stumble?
How may we run to obtain the heavenly promises? 

To run without stumbling has been in my mind all day. Between the everyday things I have been doing, and the conversations I've had, between eating, showering, sitting and staring at my computer, the phrase has been in the background, and my mind has been wondering and thinking about it. 

To run without stumbling. Oh how I want to run without stumbling. To run, muscles working, breath fast and bursting my lungs. To run, feet hitting pavement with a firm and steady slap, steady and eating up miles. Running towards the heavenly promises. To run the rocky terrain, never missing a step, never stumbling, never falling. Racing for the prize. 

Almighty and merciful God, grant that we may run without stumbling to obtain your heavenly promises.

A Journey of Faith

Faith. Like a mustard seed, so tiny it is lost in the palm of your hand. And yet this is the chosen symbol from Jesus' mountain sermon. The people gathered there looked around them on that rocky hill and understood, for all around them were the mustard plants. It was imagery that was fresh, that used pieces of their reality. It was imagery that symbolized that a small insignificant seed could produce a tree, a miracle to be reckoned with. A symbol of the kingdom of God.

A journey of faith can be just as doubtful as looking at that mustard seed. It can be impossible at times to look at that seed and really believe it will produce anything worthwhile. That anything will come of it.

I am in that doubting moment. I doubt that the seed of the calling God has spoken in me will really come to anything. I doubt that water will come and sun will come and nutrients will come to bring that seed to fruition. I doubt that money will come to pay for what it requires to follow Jesus. I doubt that ministry will open up, that strength to follow through will be found. I doubt that these God-given dreams which I cannot escape will become reality to be reckoned with.

But I was reminded today of the journey so far. Remembering where I've been, where I came from, the innocent and unsuspecting beginnings. The beginnings that gave no hint of what was going to happen next.

My whole life has been woven and spun with graces and mercies. With strengths and unasked for provisions to accomplish what I did not suspect I would even ever do or become. Throughout, it has been intertwined with the golden sparkles of God's love and gifts.

And yet I sit here doubting.

If I have been called to something, if a ministry or mission has been given to me, if I am made for greater things, how could I think that I was then expected to achieve it on my own? Foolish thought! But a very real and even disquieting one.

Faith, looking into the spiritual dimension to see what God says about a matter, and then doing it.
Faith, believing that somehow, someway, God will move and the impossible will be possible.
Faith, hanging on and refusing to give up, refusing to accept the second rate offering.

Faith is stepping out, even with no idea of where that step will take us. Faith is not being discouraged when the rain feels late, when the knots are big, when the way is long.

Faith is a journey, I am learning. A journey towards living in peace and quietness, fearlessly trusting that God, who sends you, will also arrange for the message to be delivered. That God, who is weaving the story, who is controlling the threads, knows the pattern. That God knows when the rain and when the sun is needed.

Hebrews 11:1-3 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 

Only Jesus!

Father of grace, You’ve sacrificed
Your only Son for us, the crucified Jesus
Enlarge our hearts to love Your Son
O grant to us the grace to walk with Him always
To make Him our great delight 
Bringing worship with our lives 

Only Jesus! Only Jesus! 
Give us Jesus, we cry
Only Jesus! Only Jesus!
The Pearl of greatest price

Spirit of grace, You’ve shed Your light
Upon our darkened eyes, unveiling Jesus Christ
Come change our hearts, conform our ways
To honor Jesus’ Name, His glory our refrain
Let His love compel our own
As we worship at His throne

Jesus, our great Savior,
Lord of heaven, Son of God


By Doug Plank "Only Jesus", Valley of Vision. 

Lifted Out Of The Depths

I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

O Lord, you brought me up from the grave, you spared me from going down into the pit.

Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."
O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:
What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help."

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Psalm 30

Unplugged

The value of silence is often overlooked these days. It's such a busy world. Time for silence and quiet in which to just be and think becomes rarer and rarer. The world keeps turning, and the rush never ends.
I don't mean just the absence of sound around me when I speak of silence. I mean a place of minimized distraction, where thought can occur and echo around in heart and mind. Where there is not another place to be, another person to reply to, another task to accomplish. The silence of a world at a slower pace.
I have been craving the silence of a world at a slower pace. My life has been jam packed. I've loved every minute of it, but it's not a state of being I wish to remain in forever.

I want to unplug.

So this summer that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to text, facebook, or tweet. I'm going to take time to sit and enjoy the silence.
Perhaps the silence will allow me to write, to read, to focus on the people in the same room with me, instead of the ones on the screen.

I'm sure it'll be a bit of a culture shock to go from constant on-the-go-electronic-connection to a life of no replies, re-tweets, or text messages. But I'm curious about how it's going to turn out. Will I miss it? Will I find something better? Will being unplugged make it too hard to be in relationship with others?
It's an experiment I am anxious to try.

I hope the silence will lead me toward Christ, toward hearing the whisper of His voice in my heart. I hope it leads me toward a more thoughtful existence, toward deeper relationships instead of shallow ones that never move beyond a "like" now and then. I hope the silence will grow new thoughts and new ideas and greater creativity.

So if I'm a little quieter in the coming weeks, know that I'm just being silent, soaking in the world around me, and taking time to notice and think about things I can see and hear and touch, rather than a screen of virtual life.  I want the real deal, and I'm taking a bold step to see if it still exists.

Unplugged.

5 Minutes

I have 5 minutes before time to move to the next thing. 5 minutes for a blog post!

Some things I've been happy about:

• A new Spanish/English Bible. Hopefully this will help my Spanish!
• The last days of a really fun job. I've enjoyed it so much, and hate to see it end. 
• Friends who call and text and go on coffee dates. :) 
• Mom time. She's my bestie.
• Time to just sit and swing on the porch.
• Answers to prayers, and sitting back to see them happen. Always so cool.
• A particularly satisfying project being completed.
• Sunny days that I get to enjoy outside! I love my job!
• The grace of God that transcends everything. 

I'm praising Jesus for the strength He gives, the love He offers and the assurance that He will always be with me.

Thanks be to God.

:Bounce: :Bounce: :Bounce:

This is just a happy little post because I'm ready to bounce off the walls. And there's a lot to be happy about!

I just had a cup of coffee. It's Guatemalan, and was roasted in the last few days not too far from here. Gosh, was it good, too. I'm ready to tackle anything now! Coffee buzz, top notch.

God has been really moving and working in several situations lately, and I'm humbled that He'd take time to care for me like that. He answers prayers, brings strength, and heaps blessings upon blessings. I certainly don't deserve it! But I am deeply grateful. I'm so glad that I have a personal connection with the maker of this universe.

I'm so thankful for the many gifts and things God has done for me. Too many to count or mention, but they are crowding around me, demanding that I share the goodness of the Lord.

Psalm 9:1-2 I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

The Teacher Was Homeschooled (And Other Ironies Of My Life)

Irony 1. The teacher was homeschooled. And has no idea what a 'classroom' is supposed to look like.

Not only do I not know what it's 'supposed' to look like, but I also have no idea how it works. You know what it feels like so far? Like juggling 5 siblings and all their activities. Except, these siblings are all the same age. Maybe being the oldest of 9 will come in handy, after all. (Don't make me use my teacher voice!)

Irony 2. The teacher knocks over the kid in the playground on the first day. Great.

Parent: "Do you like your new teacher?"

Kid: "She knocked me down on the playground!"

Parent: "What kind of teacher is this?! "

(It was actually an isolated incident which was caused by a child walking behind a teacher who was swinging. The teacher was unable to stop the child or the momentum in time. I was that unfortunate teacher. There were no serious injuries in the making of this irony. Maybe I should give up swinging.)

Irony 3. The new PE teacher has never been to a PE class in her life.

She can't shoot baskets, she can't do push ups, and she doesn't remember the rules to 'freeze tag'. But somehow, these things will probably not hinder her as she guides 40 kids through PE classes. Oh no. Not at all.

~

Somehow, I think I'm going to absolutely love this job. After the first day, I still have things to do with them for the remainder of the week, and lots of ideas for our studies and activities. I'm surprised there's not the irony of using up a weeks worth of classes in one day. But grateful for that not happening. Ask me tomorrow if it really didn't happen. Ha!

Today I got more of a feel of how long it takes to do things with 5 year olds. (Basically, forever.) And I got more of a feel of where they are in their abilities. (Basically, my level.)

Looking forward to more teacher adventures tomorrow! But I think I will attempt to avoid knocking over kids on the playground.

Mile Markers and Changes

This is my last week with my regular routine. Next week begins a new season in my life, a new direction taken, and who knows what might happen next.

My life moves so quickly. I'm often left gasping for breath as each new development arises. And smiling because it's fascinating to follow Jesus, and along the pathway there are many adventures!

I'm beginning an adventure next week, and I'm very excited about it. It will push me out of my comfort zone just a little, be a bit of a challenge, and will also satisfy a pleasure that has been waiting for another chance to come to light.

But more on that another time.

I was just thinking about following Jesus, and this path of life. This road called Vida. A road that leads ever onward and upward, and each step means something new is on the horizon!

What a journey I've been on as I trace it through the last 3 or 4 years. I've been talking about part of that journey with some co-workers. It's a journey that went from "I'd never do that! If I was called to that, I'd know it!" to "I think I'm called to do this." I've changed so much since 4 years ago, it's astounding. I don't think I'd know myself if I'd had a peek into the future way back then. And I'd be shocked at some of the things I'd see myself doing now.

It's pretty neat to stop for a moment, and take stock of where the road has been. Look back over my shoulder and take note of the mile markers and envision again the person that met them. Then to look around right now and see who the person is at the present mile marker.

It's pretty neat to stop for a moment and really see how God works. Sometimes, it's all in a second and you know, you know the change has taken place. Sometimes, it's over a long period of time and you suddenly look up and realize how long it's been, or where you are. It was gradual, but it was happening.

Some of these changes on the pathway of my life have been on the fast, sudden variety. But most of them are natural, and fall into place.

I just love it when that happens. When it naturally slips in with a nice "click" making things easy and simple.

"For I know the thoughts that I have for you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to bring you to an expected end." A frequently quoted scripture, and one that is proven over and over.

May your adventure of life lead on peacefully as you encounter each new mile marker.

Heralds Of A New Season

The daffodil trumpets the entry of Spring.

Don't you love the fresh scent of daffodils? They smell so yellowish-green.

Mission Without Message

I attended my first ever mission conference this weekend. It was very well put together and featured dozens of missionaries working across the globe in a variety of capacities. They discussed such things as cultural relevance, establishing multi-cultural relationships, and finding God's vision for your life. And this was just the few that I attended! With only four sessions and dozens of topics, it was hard to settle on just one class to attend each time slot!

I've been thinking about and working with a food pantry ministry our church has in our community. I've recently taken leadership for this ministry and I've been thinking of ways to help move the ministry forward toward the vision of the church. 

And it's been running in the back of my mind, aided by articles and bits and pieces of books I've come across that just giving is not enough. It's not enough to just hand out food, to add up the number of bodies coming through, the total pounds of food feeding hungry mouths. It's not enough to hug and smile at each person, to give them boxes of food to warm stomachs and wave a friendly goodbye month after month.

Anyone can do those things.

The government does those things (dispensing with the hugs!).

What makes it different when Christians reach out to others?

More importantly, why do Christians reach out to others?

Why do I wake up on a Saturday morning and bounce over to the church at 7am? Why do I spend hours organizing where to get the food we give away? Why do I give money to purchase items to add? To give to strangers and neighbors? Why do I do it?

It doesn't make sense, really. Why should I inconvenience myself? Of course, there's the nice little feeling I get, the little pat on my own back as I whisper to myself that I'm "giving back" and that I care for others. There's that bit. And I know that's a big motivation for many people. 

But the thought came to me, deep down. The thought that bubbled up slowly and finally burst upon me that the mission is absolutely useless without the message. The message is what makes the difference! 

This food we're giving, will not urge the heart of another to recognize the need for Christ in their life. The hug and smile will fade quickly and will mean nothing if the message of how it came to be there, or why it stays is not shared.

People need to know the message of hope. The message of the gospel. The food ministry is the vehicle- the means to sharing the story. The food expresses the care and love of Christ, yes. But it also needs the story and reason to be told or it will just be food. And nothing more. 

The mission without the message is a void. The ministry without the story is just another program blending in with all the other non-profits full of well-meaning, kind people.

Mission is more than just being kind people. 

Mission is bringing others to the kingdom of God. Mission is gaining their trust, introducing them to the Christ who saves, who brings everlasting life. Mission is helping them realize they can have a personal relationship with the Creator, and a corporate relationship with the church of believers. 

The food is the bait. The mission is the reason. And we need to share the reason. We need to tell the story. We need to remember the message. 

The message of Christ. 

The mission without the message is meaningless.

Food Is Essential, I'm Finding

I've been learning about the importance of eating lately. Now, this may seem elementary to most people, and something that others would say "duh!" when I bring it up. But I've learned it's really, really important to eat. Like, really.
For me, eating has been a struggle for some time. I just really don't like to do it. I like to talk about food, and talk about eating, but when it comes right down to it, I tend to forget or avoid it. It's not that I want to avoid it in order to stay slim, either. I'm just lacking that lovely natural mechanism that kicks in called "hunger" that reminds me that food is essential. And when others are eating things, I'm just not as interested in it. I'm really pretty good with just one bite. I don't have to eat the whole piece in order to reach that satisfied feeling of taste. One or two bites, and I'm happy.
But I'm finding that one or two bites of food a day just won't keep me alive. I can't go for long periods of time without eating. It's a long story, but I've learned that it's really essential to eat more than a snack a day. Like, really.

The past two weeks have been all about the food. First thing in the morning, I eat. I get to work and eat, and then eat again. Then I come home and guess what? I eat again! But the impact of all that food has really taken me by surprise. The amount of energy and emotional stability it has produced has astounded me. I didn't realize I was literally starving.  I didn't realize that life cannot be maintained without proper sustenance. I didn't realize that just eating healthy food would do so much for my mood and emotions, either!

This kind of reminds me of another essential food we need: God's word, given to us by the prophets and the law through inspiration of the Holy Spirit. If I have been starving myself by not eating, then what happens when I don't read the Bible? What happens when I go long periods of time without that essential addition to my spiritual well-being? I become dry and emotional and swept along with the strongest wind of doctrine that blows.

In addition to falling into a habit of never eating, I also found myself in the habit of never reading the Bible, either. It's easier to do something else. It's easier to check my cell phone, or look at Facebook or yes, even blog than spend time storing up energy from time reading and thinking about God's word. Those essential spiritual nutrients were falling into a depleted state.

So what to do about it?

Make time to read. Make time to sit and think about what God is saying, especially when I don't feel like it. When I feel like it least, is the most important time of all to partake of the goodness in front of me.

My goal over the next few weeks is to increase the time spent listening to and reading and thinking about the message God has sent to us, which coincides with the goal to increase my food intake.

Not only will my body and mind benefit, but my soul will, also.

Healing

A broken heart. I know how it feels. I know the intense pain so deep and strong. At times barely able to breathe. At times blinded, vision blurred with the force of the pain. Reeling from a roller-coaster of emotions and memories. A broken heart, a thousand pieces, and shards within causing internal bleeding.

Oh yes. A broken heart, with darkness all around. And thinking there is no hope- thinking the pain would be present forever.

And then slowly, like a cool soothing balm, God's Spirit touches that brokenness. Touches and heals, putting the pieces back together, making it whole again. God's finger, writing joy back into our hearts and lives.

It reminds me of the broken heart of Christ, when rejected at crucifixion. His was a heart broken from rejection from His Father. His was a heart broken because of the mistakes and evil things thought and acted by others. His broken heart made possible the healing of our hearts. His heart, resurrected, allows our hopes to be resurrected as well.

A broken heart can seem so impossible to put together from the many bits and pieces. But the Creator of the universe can create anew our souls. He creates a new heart from the pain, a new soul. And where the cracks were is made stronger and more unified than ever possible before. And how do we get this healing?
It's simple. We ask.
We ask and we receive.

I know of healing. I know at times it creeps along slowly. One atom at a time, one vessel at a time until a whole organ, a whole soul is revealed. I know that healing has to be asked for, and worked toward, sometimes. We ask for it, and it is simple. We allow Christ to heal us. I know that it is real.

Healing will come.
Broken hearts remade.
Broken lives restored.
Broken worlds made new.

Why? Because God heals. And that is sure. Something to hang on to during everything.

It's true. I know. Because it is happening to me.



~

Psalm 30:1-12
I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up, and did not let my foes rejoice over me.
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol, restored me to life from among those gone down to the Pit.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones, and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
As for me, I said in my prosperity, "I shall never be moved."
By your favor, O Lord, you had established me as a strong mountain; you hid your face; I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I cried, and to the Lord I made supplication:
"What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the Pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me! O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.

2 Kings 5:1-14
The story of Naaman, asking for healing.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Running to win the race.

Mark 1:40-45
The leper is healed.

Random Ramblings

I used to write a friend random bits and pieces that I was thinking of or happy about or busy doing. The friend and I have moved on to other forms of communication, but I thought I'd blog it a bit. I'm feeling chattery and happy and generally have ideas bouncing around in my head.

I'm feeling happy because I love scarves. This year I've started wearing them nearly every day. Today I was folding them and putting them away neatly, and I realized they're pretty much in the same color family: pink. Four out of twelve scarves are pink. Two more are purple. I've been on the lookout for a lovely gray one to add to the collection. I had my eye on one, but it was too expensive for my taste. Yesterday I found it for a fraction of the original cost! Excitement abounds! I'm thinking about doing a little blog photo series of different ways I style my scarves. Haven't decided for sure, yet. But maybe!

I'm listening to a new band today that I think I really like. I attended a concert last night and this band opened. Check them out here: www.rendcollectiveexperiment.com. They have a good vibe. Speaking of the concert, this morning when I woke up, my ears were still ringing, and I had had earplugs in! The bands were many, varied, and Loud! But it was great to go and hang out with friends. Good memories!

Covalent bonds are the subject matter of today in biology. I was thinking of the definition of covalent bonds and how it might relate to marriage. Maybe a bit of a stretch, but something that caught my attention and thoughts.

The sun is shining! I think I must mention it every time I blog, but I really love a sunny day. It makes me happy! It's been so dark and dreary here for days on end. Some sun is a very welcome thing. I shall go outside and let it warm my face I think.

I just discovered that eating protein when feeling sleepy during the day does help you feel more wakeful and ready to work. I must remember this for future reference.

I'm really grateful for God's healing power right now. Several situations around me have been needing God's healing, and to see it happening is amazing and humbling and makes me so thankful.

Just a few things that I'm thinking about today. It's a gorgeous day, and I'm glad to be alive!