Just Katie

Who am I?
Deep down inside, where the heart pumps, sending blood coursing through my veins?
What are my dreams when I close my eyes? What are my hopes, my fancies, my wildest imaginings? And how do they fit with this body I live in, this humanity that covers my soul?
Who is this person, and what are her goals, and where is she going?

And so I begin a questioning and serious thinking as I try to define even more who I am. More blogging will come from this. I've begun already a little the past few days. But more ideas of who I am will come trickling up from the depths.

I'm thinking of my future and where it might be going.
I'm dreaming of my home and lifestyle and way of doing life.
I'm imagining different paths to take.
I'm examining my passions and joys.
I'm captivating these glimpses and putting to words what I see.

Some things may appear here. Some will be written on my heart, for others to discover later.

Who am I?
Just Katie.

Selah - Think About It

Psalm 130 was today's psalm. I didn't plan for it to be, but there it was, jumping off the page. And so I share it here.

Psalm 130
Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who would stand?
But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord more than the watchmen wait for the morning, more than the watchmen wait for the morning.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Praise the Lord. 

Selah. 

And I will think about it, until it settles deep within. 

Disgusting Materialism

The past month or so I have been struck by materialism. And as the holiday season begins, it really causes me to notice it more and more. The materialism is just sickening to me.

I used to be just like the next one, and had lists of things I wanted for Christmas, or went shopping and wanted the things I saw. I was never brand loyal or interested in the latest technology or newest versions of things, but there was always something else I needed to be happy or live better.

Perhaps its because I spent the summer in an area of the world where they live with a much lower standard of living. Seeing people live joyously on so little puts things into perspective. Watching someone take crusts and leftovers off people's plates in a restaurant suddenly makes you want to clean your plate at home. Meeting little children who are hungry suddenly makes black Friday shopping seem much less...necessary.

Why do we do this? What does all the stuff even mean? Does it really make you happy to know that you have the latest $600 phone? Is it really a necessity? Does it really make you feel better about yourself to buy loads of new, shiny things? Things are meaningless. Things will go out of style, get broken or look less shiny. Things have a way of fading away, and then you can't remember what you even owned or had.

It all just makes me so disappointed to see people spending so much money and time on what lasts for moments or is quickly forgotten. We have things so backwards, and no one seems to realize, but rush on to the next item, or stand in line at the next sale to get the item that will make them happier or look better. And no one knows why, it seems. The money we spend on things for ourselves or our children...a fraction of that is someone else's daily living. And what are we spending it on?

The materialism is a problem when it grows so out of proportion with everything else, that it overshadows what is really important. How do you put into perspective what is necessary vs. what is superfluous?

I keep thinking of the line, "you can't take it with you." and I wonder, what happens to all the time spent on these things, when we die? What about all the money we've wasted? How is that accounted for when we're dead? What good did we do Steve Jobs by buying the newest version of the same product over and over again? What good did we do ourselves? And in the end, what did it all matter, really.

And then I think of the millions of people who just barely survive, much less worry about whether they have the things we deem necessary in our culture. Cable tv and internet on our cellphones. Some don't even have heated houses, or sufficient clothing. Not to mention decent food or water.

I'm generally feeling disgusted by it all, and especially this Christmas season. In the rush of buying, the flurry of making lists for Santa, I just want to sit back and say, so what? Where's it getting us, who is it helping, and who are we harming with all this STUFF. Stuff that will burn away and can disappear in moments. And leave us with....what becomes the essentials. Things like relationships, like character, like intangibles that will never be burned away or stolen. And this season to remember and celebrate Jesus' beginnings...I'm not sure the Jesus I know would be thrilled by what its turned into. Worshipful gratefulness for the gift of salvation, for what He ultimately came to do...by buying?

I find materialism disgusting. Things don't impress me. Let me see your passion, your life, your inner self. Those things will always be there, no matter what. I don't want to live with all this stuff. I don't want to be defined by it, I don't want my money wasted on it. I know we need certain things to live, but all those extras...what if we went without and gave the money to someone else?

I grew up during an extremely hard time in our family. We had many nice, new things, but compared to everyone else around us, we had nothing. I remember Christmas' with a new toy. A present from my parents. And it did a world of good for me. I never regret growing up with less than my friends. It gave me so much to be grateful for. It gave me so much awareness of what is really necessary to happiness. And it wasn't heaps of things.

Oh Jesus! Help us see that Your love is the ultimate important, necessary thing! Help us to put into perspective the things that attract us so, help us to use the gifts you have given us to show your love to others instead of selfishly thinking of ourselves. Forgive us for losing ourselves in things. With all my heart, I pray. Amen.
 

Putting In Notice

Where do I go to resign from my life?
Oh. I don't get to do that.

STRESS is the main focus of my life right now. And I am too honest to say that the main focus is Jesus or God or my relationship with the Lord. Nope folks, it would be saintly to say so, and saintly to act so, but I will just face the facts of things and admit in a very humble way that actually, all I am thinking about is things that make me feel stressed and when I am not thinking about that, I am thinking of how stressed I am. To recap: I want to resign.
Oh. I don't get to do that.

Lets see, first off is TW. TW is a great big and looming event known to all others as THE WEDDING. No, its not my wedding. At least I'd have a honeymoon to look forward to if it was. But nonetheless TW up until this week was causing a deal of dismay and stress due to an attempt to plan and execute a beautiful, memorable, simple and very inexpensive occasion. Weddings in the newest form of the word are rarely simple or inexpensive. I have a secret plan to elope when it is my turn to marry.

Next is school. I have been working on school for a year. A YEAR. I wanted to graduate at the year and three months mark with a bachelors degree in communications. I then proceeded to take six months off for something known as LIFE and now I am somewhat disappointed that I won't actually graduate until six months later than intended. Oh well. I wouldn't trade the time off doing things I love. Needless to say, I want to finish quickly so I can go back to doing what I love. But this thing called LIFE keeps taking up my time and making it hard to study! Its really putting a crimp in my style, ya'll. Such a drag to read about microeconomics when I could be helping someone manage their life better with a microeconomical loan someplace like, say, Bolivia. But there has to be first things first, and unfortunately, life experience is not the only credential one must have to succeed.

Then there is work. I work at a lovely place and am paid a reasonable amount to do so. I have a million and one things that should have been done yesterday, and a million and one details to remember for tomorrow. But even with a reasonable amount paid to do so, the ole purse is nearly flat, it is so empty. Working through school is a brilliant idea, and I hate debt, but it sure makes life a little difficult to balance when deciding between math and an essential like paying a bill. And cars have an insatiable appetite for gas. It probably doesn't help that I have an insatiable appetite for traveling.

And then there's quite a list of things I should do, or want to do, but require money or time to do, both of which are becoming more and more difficult to find or part with.

And we haven't broached several subjects not worthy for blog consumption but which cause stress in one form or another.

Makes you want to scream, doesn't it? Why doesn't this Katie girl just get a handle on things and calm down and put it into perspective? I'll whisper a secret to you...

Writing this is a step toward calming down and putting it into perspective. Nothing like seeing in black and white your minute and insignificant stresses to help you think of how small the hill you're climbing really is. Mountains they seem on gray rainy days, or when tossing and turning at night. But write them all down and then remember people and places where these things are definitely "first world pains" and suddenly, they all look like anthills.


O Lord, Grant your Spirit to calm and remind of things more worthy of thought and time than these small things. Inspire gratefulness of the bounty and blessings, and give strength to endure the seemingly impossible moments. For the grace of your Only Son Jesus Christ, Amen

Magnificat

And Mary said,

My soul doth magnify the Lord,

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior,

For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.

And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.

He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.

He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.

He hath helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;

As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed forever.

My soul doth magnify the Lord.

Small Thought, Continued

Dear Sarah,

You asked, "How does self control equal loving others?"
I have a couple thoughts on that.

First, what is self control? It's just being able to control yourself and your own actions and thoughts. You decide how you react, how you use your muscles (like your tongue) and what you're going to allow yourself to think, see, hear, or absorb. That's controlling yourself.

How does self control equal loving others?
I'm not loving my brother if I can't control my hateful tongue.
I'm not loving my sister if I allow myself to hurt her physically.
I am not loving my neighbor if I don't control my actions.
I am not loving the people around me if I insist on my way.

Self control is a hard discipline for me. I am learning slowly how to apply it to many areas of my life, but it takes constant work and vigilance.

One area that I especially get to practice self control is in the area of food. Because I have many allergies which cause serious issues, I have to constantly be self controlled with what I allow myself to eat. I'd dearly love to eat a big bowl of ice cream, but the consequences of that action will punish me. So when faced with that tempting bowl of ice cream, I have to think about how it will affect me later and how it will affect the people around me later. It's not just going to cause me problems. My problems will cause others problems, as well. It's a ripple effect.

The same is true in our relationships with others every day. My interactions may be fun and innocent or exciting at the moment, but they affect many people besides the two of us. It's hard sometimes to realize just how many people are affected by certain relationships. The consequences ripple out and sometimes are far reaching if I am not self controlled. And if there are problems, they won't be just my problems, they'll be problems for those around me as well.

Specifically when I began mulling over how self control was an exercise in self denial and loving others I was thinking about it in the realm of guys and girls and their interactions. 

Because I love my family, I am going to be self controlled in my relationships. 

Because I love the guy, I am going to be self controlled in my actions toward him. 

Because I love my future husband, I am going to be self controlled in how I allow myself to think and feel now. 

Because I love the guy's future wife, I am going to be self controlled in how I interact with him now. Perhaps the future wife is me, perhaps not. 

There is a ripple effect going on.

When I like a guy, I want very much to be near him, to talk to him, and all the things that go with being in a relationship. It feels good! It's fun! 

But it doesn't help him if I am not self controlled.

And I know it doesn't help me if he is not self controlled. It just makes it harder for me to control my feelings and actions.

Between girls and guys, true love is waiting for the things you want. True love is not giving way to how you feel at the moment and what you want during those feelings. 

True love is knowing it is best for the other person if your own wishes are controlled.

If I really love him, I am willing to deny myself what I want for his sake. I am willing to wait for the things I want. I am willing to go without what feels good for his sake.

True love is thinking about the consequences of what I want and how it will affect those around me.

Self control is thinking about the consequences of what I want and how it will affect those around me.

And that's why I think self control equals loving others.

Katie

Quiet Happiness

I love the feeling of peace. I love the quiet happiness that settles into my heart and life. It's the moments of joy and knowing that God is there and He's guiding and directing my life if I will just relax and let Him. It's so good to have it back after a hard time of darkness. 

It's in the moments of swinging on the porch swing in the evenings, talking to my parents.
It's in the moments of playing kickball in the backyard and laughing at ourselves because we can't throw worth a darn.
It's just as I'm falling asleep and smiling to myself because I know. I know. I know. that He is there. He hasn't forsaken me. He hasn't forgotten me. He has a plan for this journey of life.
Quiet happiness. 

If there's one lesson I am learning on this hill, it's that God always leads us. And always guides us. And He won't let us make mistakes or miss-step. But we have to trust Him, and allow Him to lead. We have to learn to follow.

It reminds me of dancing. As a girl, I have to follow the lead of my partner. He's the one who decides where we go on the dance floor, and what moves we'll be making. He guides the dance. He's in charge. I just have to follow. When I follow, I think about how to follow. I have to relax and let him lead, and not try to take over. Sometimes it's hard, because I start thinking about how I anticipate the dance to go. And that's when I miss-step.

Just as I enjoy dancing with a good lead, I want to be a good follow. 

When I was little, I remember standing on my grandfather's shoes as he danced around the room with me. I remember giggling because I was dancing with my Paw-Paw. He danced. I held on. We laughed.

So in this grand dance of life, I'm the follow. God is the lead. I just need to relax, and let Him guide me. Then the dance will be smooth and beautiful.

Psalm 31:14-15

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord:

I say, "You are my God."

My times are in Your hand.

Road Sign

This past week I suddenly noticed some new road signs on the road I travel to and from work. Who knows, they may have been there for months...and I just never paid any attention.

But this week as I was driving along and contemplating life, I passed these signs and it suddenly struck me that these signs are so true. About driving this particular stretch of road, and about life.

Hill Blocks View. The hill is blocking the view so you don't know what is coming next or what is about to come over the hill. The sign is to warn drivers to be cautious in those areas. Don't be impatient and try to pass other drivers when you can't see what might be coming next. Don't anticipate because you can only see the hill, not the view.

I've been thinking about my life as a journey. I often imagine it as a pathway or a road that I am walking as I try to emulate Christ and follow His ways. I imagine the views I'm seeing as I think about the things going on in my life. The happy things and positive things and exciting things seem like pleasant places to me. The hard things and disappointing things seem like deserts, valleys, or hills.

And recently, I've felt like I was in a valley, or trudging up a hill. So when I saw this sign I thought, "This hill blocks my view." I can't see what's coming next. I can't anticipate where this will lead.

In this journey of life, we can't know why things happen or where things will lead. We may have a vision of where we're going, but if we're following Jesus, we can't know for sure where the journey will take us. But we follow our Savior eagerly. And when we get to the top of the hill, we can look back and see the view. And we can begin to see the whys. And be glad for the valley and the climb.

This kind of reminds me of the threads of life. The weaver weaves them together. It takes a while for the pattern to emerge, and especially if you look at the underside, it just looks like a tangle. But it ends up being a beautiful tapestry.

The hill blocks the view. For now. But it won't always. Eventually we'll be at the top and we'll see more clearly where we came from and where we're going. We'll catch a fresh vision and we'll have a fresh viewpoint as we continue our journey. We can't anticipate, or get impatient. But the excitement of seeing the view is building, and the beauty of the view, of seeing the valleys and hills and pleasant places and deserts all blending into a beautiful panorama of a life serving God will be worth it all.

And so I keep walking, keep journeying, keep following my Jesus on this aventura de la vida. Because He is worth it all. Because He is guiding me on this pathway. And I,
must only follow.

James 5:7-8

   
⁷ Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. ⁸ You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8

*Note:
When I was in Israel, I was present during the olive harvesting season. There were olives waiting to be picked everywhere. They were only waiting for the latter rain, the last rain of the season to plump them up before picking. Cool, huh?

A Scripture For Today

Psalm 33

 ¹ Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
   it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
² Praise the LORD with the harp;
   make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
³ Sing to him a new song;
   play skillfully, and shout for joy. ⁴ For the word of the LORD is right and true;
   he is faithful in all he does.
⁵ The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
   the earth is full of his unfailing love.
 ⁶ By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
   their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea into jars^[a];
   he puts the deep into storehouses.
⁸ Let all the earth fear the LORD;
   let all the people of the world revere him.
⁹ For he spoke, and it came to be;
   he commanded, and it stood firm.
 ¹⁰ The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
   he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
¹¹ But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
   the purposes of his heart through all generations.
 ¹² Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
   the people he chose for his inheritance.
¹³ From heaven the LORD looks down
   and sees all mankind;
¹⁴ from his dwelling place he watches
   all who live on earth—
¹⁵ he who forms the hearts of all,
   who considers everything they do.
 ¹⁶ No king is saved by the size of his army;
   no warrior escapes by his great strength.
¹⁷ A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
   despite all its great strength it cannot save.
¹⁸ But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
   on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
¹⁹ to deliver them from death
   and keep them alive in famine.
 ²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
   he is our help and our shield.
²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
   for we trust in his holy name.
²² May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
   even as we put our hope in you.

Waiting For The Starting Gun

I found this in my prayer journal from last January. Somehow, even though it was written reflecting something else, it still applies to a different thought today.

Waiting
My muscles are strained, tense as I crouch in starting position. 
They begin to ache, crying out for the starting gun's noise to release.
The running lane ahead looks alluring, promising. But I can only strain to keep still.
When will the gun go off? When will I attain the prize? 
My hands are supporting me, keeping me on the ready. 
Sweat runs down my face. I stare ahead focusing on the finish line. 
Feet on the running blocks. Feet asking to run. Feet still waiting.
Where is the peace in this waiting? I thought the race was beginning. 
But I am still. Waiting 
for the gun.
I imagine the wind in my hair, the release of energy as I race. Feet hitting pavement, eating up miles. All this as the starting gun is silent, invisible.
A flash. A noise. I'm free.
Running, sailing, heart thumping, muscles rippling.
The end is closer. The finish line looms.
I have given my all. I am spent. And the prize?
Too glorious for words.

Waiting For The Day Of The Lord

The second candle of advent was lit today in recognition of the prophets.
The prophets heralded the coming of Christ, the day of the Lord.
This week we're focusing on waiting for the day of the Lord.

"The second candle on the Advent wreath is associated with the prophets and, in particular, their prophecies of the "one who is to come." With this candle, therefore, we are waiting for the future and all that it might hold."

The day of the Lord...it can bring different pictures to mind. Isaiah for instance was talking about the day of the Lord meaning deliverance for Judah from the Assyrians. But he was also referring to the day of the Lord meaning Jesus being sent for our redemption. Today, when one references the day of the Lord, we automatically think of the end of times, and the second coming. Either way, all three are instances of God's people waiting for the day of the Lord. The day of our redemption and deliverance.

This second candle brings more light to darkness, more hope to our waiting. The hope is growing stronger with the light that our waiting will not be in vain. We are waiting for someone to fulfill the prophecies of a peaceful world in which a lion will lie down with a lamb, where a virgin will have a son and call Him Immanuel, a son who will establish a kingdom and uphold justice with righteousness forevermore.

Of course everyone has their own private idea of a savior. Maybe someone on a white horse with shining armor, ready to combat the dragons at the gate. Maybe a warrior with arrows at the ready to conquer the enemies pouring down upon them. Someone who changes the darkness of fear and oppression to the light of gladness, peace, and happiness. The Israelites were expecting a savior who would free them from the oppression of their enemies, who would bring peace to their land once again. Their idea of a savior looked more like the fierce warrior on the white horse.

"As is so often the case, Jesus fulfills these ancient prophecies in a surprising way, and it is through weaving light into the shade of our present world that he evokes wonder by the wisdom of his counsel; shows the power of God in the world's cares eternally just like a parent; and is the source of all well-being for God's people. Jesus lived as wonderful counsellor, mighty God, everlasting father, and prince of peace in the midst of our broken, despairing world, shining in the darkness and bringing hope. 

It is this light shining in the darkness for which we wait, and the season of Advent calls us to readjust our eyes in that darkness so that we can see glimmers of the Light of the World, glowing and pointing us forward to that ultimate time in the future when everything will be fulfilled...."

And so we wait. Quietly, in the darkness, staring at the shine and glow of two candles. One reminding us silently of how we are called to wait. The second, that we are waiting for the day of the Lord.

Waiting is not just sitting around, slightly bored, passively waiting for the next thing.

" The Hebrew word that is often translated wait (as in Genesis 49:18, "I wait for your salvation, O Lord") has the additional meaning of "look eagerly" or "lie in wait for" that brings with it that concept of being a "lookout" whose sole task is to gaze into the distance, waiting for a particular person to come, and then, when they do come, to be able to distinguish them from the others who come the same way....Waiting for the future involves a recognition of what the world might be and the resolve to bring our own part of it one step closer....Waiting becomes active: waiting for the future involves transforming the present."

Active waiting, then is the proper outlook for Advent. We're actively waiting for the day of the Lord when we reach out to others and bring the light closer to shining throughout the world.

So on this second Sunday in Advent, think of the prophets who were actively waiting for the Savior of the World...for the light to chase away the darkness. And actively wait for the day of the Lord.


All exerpts taken from the book by Paula Gooder, The Meaning Is In The Waiting

The Meaning Is In The Waiting

Waiting is increasingly a strange notion. After all, we have microwaves for fast instant food. We have cell phones for instant access. We have digital books for instant download. We have google for instant answers. We are increasingly impatient when something is not forthcoming as quickly as we think it should be.

Then we have Christmas.
It starts in August and is celebrated sometimes until January.
What happened to looking forward to Christmas?
What happened to saving the dessert for after dinner?

Why is Christmas in full swing as soon as the Halloween candy is on sale?

Advent is a time of waiting.
Advent is a time of anticipating.
Advent is a time of looking forward to the coming of Christ.
To quote the book, The Meaning Is In The Waiting,

 "Advent lies in waiting. Waiting rests not in frustration but in stillness. Not frenzied anticipation but in embracing the present. We need to relearn how to wait, to rediscover the act of savoring the future of staying in the present and of finding meaning in the act of waiting."

The first Advent candle was lit today. The first candle represents Abraham and Sarah, our ancestors in the faith, the patriarch of our Savior. And it represents expectation. The expectation that God will follow through with His promises. The expectation that our waiting is not in vain.

Abram was called to wait. He packed up his household, turned down his birthright, (unheard of!) and was sent on a journey to a new land...but he had to wait to find out where it was.
He was promised a great nation, but had no children until his old age. He was called to wait for the child who would fulfill that promise. Even then, he did not live to see the nation that came from his waiting.

Abram's call was to wait, but it was also to change. We know he had had big change in his life already: His father had moved the family once, establishing himself in a new town with new acquaintances and associates. But here he was, asked to make changes again. Leave his father's house, his relatives, his inheritance, to go to an uncertain place.

One thing I learned while in Israel was that Hebrews have a way of thinking that is completely different. They're always changing. They're always doing things differently. The lady I was traveling with has been in Israel many many years. She was even recently there just a couple months before I visited. Yet she remarked constantly on how things had changed even from when she was there a couple months before. Israelis have no problem changing the way they do things.

It strikes me that maybe they get this from their patriarch.

Quote: "The voice that spoke to Abram still speaks to us: "Go, from the things that bind you, from the sense of your own identity, from your day-to-day way of being to something that I shall show you." God calls, and waits for our response....

God's call to us remains a call to change; to leaving and accompanying, to moving and changing, to growing and flourishing. It is part of human nature to yearn for stability, to put down roots, and to stay put; but it is also a rule of nature that things that do not move do not live. Water that does not move becomes stagnant, and in the same way when we do not move we become sluggish and hard to change. God's call does not necessarily ask us to move our physical surroundings, (although sometimes it does); most often it asks us to move our internal surroundings, to be prepared to be changed and transformed." 

We are asked to wait. We are asked to change. We change in the waiting. Waiting is an essential part of our journey with God.

Abraham was asked to change, was asked to wait. He moved forward, not knowing exactly where his journey was leading. He and Sarah were promised a family, a land, a nation. They thought they had waited in vain for the family to materialize. They became anxious and tried to fix up for themselves how it would all work out. But Ishmael was not the child God was planning to use to form this nation.
In the end, after all the pain of waiting, all the anxiety of the unknown, of not knowing exactly where they were headed  or how it would work out, they finally had their promise fulfilled. Isaac was born. He grew, and then God did an unexpected thing: He asked Abraham to sacrifice his son. Abraham prepares to do so, but what questions must have run through his mind. How could he now have another son to fill the spot of Isaac? How about the nation that would outnumber the stars? Yet in faith Abraham acted, and God provided a sacrifice instead of Isaac.

Abraham and Sarah became symbols for us not only of faith but also of waiting: of waiting as an essential part of our journey with God, of waiting being vital for the proper unfolding of God's plan, and of waiting being as important as that for which we wait. God summons us to go out but does not always tell us where to, or why...for that we must wait, but in the waiting we can, sometimes, discover a meaning.

The first candle is for Expectation. The first candle is for the Patriarchs of our faith. Who often had to wait.