Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Yesterday I was having a conversation with someone who was asking for prayer for a friend. This man and his wife had been praying and praying for a baby. They had fertility treatments and were expecting quadruplets. The friend called to say that the woman had miscarried one, and now they were praying that the others would make it to the end of the pregnancy. I expressed sympathy for the miscarriage and asked if the remaining babies were okay. The friend said, "Oh yes! They had a 'selective miscarriage'." The friend then continued on with the conversation, describing how they were really praying the others would be carried to term.

To my deep sorrow, it wasn't until last night when I settled down to sleep that the full import of that conversation hit me.

This family had prayed for children. God blessed them by giving them four lives in her womb. And then they selectively miscarried one. They selectively killed one! They had an abortion! 'Selective miscarriage' is less harsh on the ear than abortion or elimination or removal of one of the lives. One of the babies was sacrificed for the others.

How does anyone even begin to think about this? How do you choose which baby to kill? How could you look at an ultrasound of four babies, four people, four lives and decide which one should not be allowed to live? Why would you even consider it? I suppose you choose the smallest or weakest one. And that is agreeing with survival of the fittest, which is evolution!  I am a small girl, and not particularly strong. I'm glad I wasn't eliminated for that reason!

It was the sheer hypocrisy that got me. If someone prays, asking God for the blessing of children, they must recognize that God is the giver of life, the one that forms the human in the womb. And then to selectively kill that human life, and ask for prayer for the others to be well and strong? How does that even translate?

I was so upset it took a while to settle back down and fall asleep. My heart was broken for that little innocent baby, the one that was selectively not allowed to live. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I prayed for the baby's siblings, still forming in the womb of their mother.

If she didn't want that baby, I do! Oh how can I even express my feelings? They were practicing birth control, and controlling which ones get birthed. A common practice, usually carried on before knowing whether a child is actually present. This is why I feel so strongly about birth control. If you follow the natural chain of events, it boils down to becoming so thoughtless that you are okay with asking for prayer for a procedure that goes against Christianity. A procedure that ends life, not one that gives life.

The cries of that baby were silenced.
And my cries grew louder.

I pray for that family, as they expect triplets, as they begin to get ready for three new lives to care for and guide. I pray for them as I grieve the loss of their child.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;" Jeremiah 1:5 

1 comment:

  1. To offer an alternative perspective, there are people of strong faith in God and Jesus Christ who believe that an embryo developing inside a mother's womb is not a fully realized life. I know there are also people of strong faith in God and Jesus Christ who believe otherwise.

    Katie, I appreciate your heartfelt crying out in this post, and in order for me to feel similarly I would need to know more details - how far along was the pregnancy, what medical dangers were they facing at the time, etc?

    The only thing I hope no one tries to project onto the couple who made this decision is some callousness in simply throwing away a baby or anything beyond what must have been a heartbreaking decision for them. We can all believe (and even know in some cases) that we might have made a different decision in their shoes, but that's a much easier conclusion to reach when one isn't occupying the shoes in question.